Friday, March 1, 2024
Fair Play - The Ending Explained. A Riveting, Must-Watch Triumph
"Fair Play" is a gem of a directorial debut by Chloe Domont, because it's a taut, highly watchable unfolding story of a loving couple whose love story gets ripped to shreds in short order.
"Fair Play" is one of the best movies I have seen in ages. Phoebe Dynevor is nothing short of spectacular in this role. Any woman watching her performance will find moment after moment of truth in her responses throughout. One of the best parts of "Fair Play" is definitely Phoebe Dynevor, who is perfect for this role. Every moment is letter perfect, and her range of expression is really something to see.
Alden Ehrenreich is great in this too. He doesn't hold back in a very difficult role. His character, Luke, is determined to make a name for himself. He works hard, studies, and has put everything into rising in this particular firm.
The director Chloe Domont says she wanted to make a film about toxic masculinity. I admit, toxic masculinity is not an expression in my vocabulary. If I'd heard that was what this film was about in advance, I might not have watched it. To me, it's about much more than this, but it is indeed about the toxic masculinity of the character of Luke. An unexpected event turns him into more and more of a monster, when he's not being completely self-degrading.
The self-degradation of Luke is a repeated and often painful theme here. One thing that won't escape your notice is the fact that in so many shots, the character of Luke is positioned either seated, on the floor, or kneeling.
In the beginning, he's kneeling in a proposal to Emily, made in the bathroom where they've stolen away from his brother's wedding party. Later, he's kneeling at the feet of his boss and idol Campbell (played by Eddie Marsan) in a very misguided move he thinks will salvage his career. And of course there's the final scene where Luke is at Emily's mercy on the floor.
That first scene, which takes place in a restaurant bathroom, is funny and touching and crazy, and it's the last time we get to see the happy relationship between the couple.
Does Emily hesitate ever so slightly at the proposal, as the director says? Why, yes, she does. But not for long. She loves Luke and they've been together for 2 years, breaking company policy by being involved without yet disclosing this to the firm.
One of the final scenes also takes place in a bathroom, where horrifically, things descend to the worst of the worst in the one scene that is unwatchable in its brutality.
I almost marvel that this film was even made, because the light it shines on men-women relationships is so familiar and embedded in women's psyches that we don't even think about such things usually. But it's a truth that deserves this light.
The responses of Emily to her "dilemma" from early on are so dead-on, even though she's highly astute in her work world and has been from an early age, as we see when their legendary boss meets with her and quotes an article she wrote that was published in the Wall Street Journal when she was only seventeen.
When Emily finds herself unexpectedly promoted to a higher position in the firm where she works with her fiancé, she feels that, relationship-wise, she's stepped in the mud and must tread carefully.
As she walks home from what should be a great moment in her life, she's conflicted.
Only hours before, she'd heard that it was her boyfriend Luke who was to get the plum spot. That information turns out now to be incorrect, but she's already told him the position is as good as his.
This begins the torturous downward spiral. But at first, it seems unwarranted. Luke warmly congratulates her, while Emily is hesitant and upset about any angst it's causing him that it's her and not him who got this sought-after promotion.
From the moment she tells Luke about her promotion, their sex life stops. Not long after, the craziness and gaslighting from Luke begins.
Emily continues being apologetic and at times desperate regarding this turn of events, because she knows what a blow this is to the man she loves.
Later we find out this blow is even tougher than we thought, because Luke idolizes their boss, Campbell, and has studied him like a book for years, wanting only to be in this firm and emulate him.
The Ending: What Really Happened?
As great as "Fair Play" is, the ending stumped me; even confused me.
What do we see? We only see Emily's face. Luke has just pleaded with her to not let this be the end. "It wasn't me," he says, referring to his crazed actions. "You know it wasn't me."
Emily crouches down, puts her forehead against his, and it almost seems that she's considering forgiving him for attempting to ruin her both professionally and personally.
But she really has no choice here. She says to her now-ex fiancé, "Now wipe the blood off my floor, and get out. I'm done with you now."
Then she pulls back and stands up again, with Luke still as ever on the ground level as she towers over him.
Then we hear a clattering sound. Emily observes and suddenly gasps with a smile. The end.
What happened??
The first time I watched it, I thought Luke had succumbed to the knife wound courtesy of Emily! I thought she was so overwrought that in that moment, she'd managed to kill him from loss of blood, and was even glad in that moment of madness.
That couldn't be it, right? I searched everywhere for "Fair Play ending explained" with no luck, not even from the director's own explanation. There were lots of results but not one of them actually explained the ending.
But now I know what happened. After watching "Fair Play" at least four times, I can tell you without a doubt what happens in the ending.
In all the havoc, I couldn't recall where the knife was. Now I know. It was still in Emily's hand.
Emily drops the knife; that's the clattering sound.
Why does she drop the knife? Why does she smile and slightly gasp?
Here's why: Luke did exactly what she asked. He really did begin to clean up her floor, just as he was commanded – clean up my floor and get out.
Emily had her moment of reckoning for him and it went even better than expected. That's why she had that surprised gasp.
Emily was pleased in the exact way the director had in mind as she explains this final scene. Chloe Domont has said in interviews that one of the messages of this film is that men must take accountability for their actions. And Luke has done the unforgivable to Emily in his escalating campaign of terror.
As Emily tells him, she was not about to let Luke show up and "act normal" and pretend nothing had happened.
Emily needed Luke to own up to everything. When he refused, she grabs the knife and makes her point and tells him exactly what he needs to say to her.
It wouldn't have even been enough if he'd just mouthed the words; after all, Emily was the one holding the knife and letting him know she meant business.
The most harrowing part of this scene was that in not taking her boss Campbell's advice to just "let it go," she was seriously risking an even worse outcome than the one in the bathroom a few nights earlier. She was risking someone getting killed, either herself or Luke. Was it REALLY worth avenging "toxic masculinity" by going that far?
No. But avenge him she did, because as Luke is obeying her commands to apologize, and to cry, it starts to sink in, and then Luke does weep and is appalled at what he's become.
What's so true about this movie is that women instinctively walk on eggshells the way she did. It's ingrained in us to support and protect the ego of a man who is important to us. Emily knows this from the second she's promoted; what she'd worked for has been handed to her but she can't exult in it. Even Luke tells her that night to enjoy it.
But his good wishes last no further than that moment. He goes so far down a hole of absurdity. In the meantime, Emily begins to embrace her new authority. But when saying the things she would normally say in that role, she has to say them to Luke too. That's what he can't take. Then in one of several heated moments to come, she calls him "pathetic."
"What did you say to me?" he asks her. True, she was half joking, but you don't call your fiancé pathetic. She's as upset as he is after she utters those words, but she's right. By that point, she's had to take all kinds of unwarranted misery from him.
The crazy thing is that the weapon Luke thought he had to ruin Emily's success turned out to be nothing. Once Emily was in the upper echelon, no one in charge cared who her lover was or about company policy. They only wanted her talent.
There's no going back for Emily and Luke here. Luke will never be able to forget how low he sunk in response to Emily's success, and Emily will always remember the horror she had to go through in her first major career triumph and recognition. And a horror it is; the director has notably built into her movie subtle elements of unease, dread, and horror against the mostly pulled together competitive world of work at their financial firm.
"Fair Play" is much more than this particular tale of woe for a once blissful couple on the brink of marriage. Don't miss it.
This trailer is spoiler-free and safe to watch. (There are other trailers for this movie which give away half the movie as most movie trailers do.)
Saturday, April 10, 2021
"Notes on a Scandal" - a Mad Melodrama, and a Must-See
When I first saw the movie "Notes on a Scandal," I was stunned at the story itself. This is one of the most entertaining and original films you could ever see (perhaps even particularly so for women) with two of the greatest actresses of our time together - how could any film-watcher go far wrong here?
"Notes on a Scandal" is based on the novel by Zoë Heller. Heller's book was inspired by the story of Mary Kay LeTourneau, but this story goes much further with the ultimate "What-Ifs."
(Please note: much of the story is told in this article. You're better off just seeing the film first knowing nothing in advance.)
Cate Blanchett plays Sheba, the woman who seemingly has everything. Blessed with great beauty, she met and married her own college professor at a young age, and they've had a happy marriage and a wonderful life and home with two great children they adore.Sheba is depressed. Life, even with all its blessings, has not been what she hoped. Something is wrong. Even Sheba's own mother has no understanding of her, and marginalizes and dismisses her. Sheba's depression and confusion get totally out of control when she takes a new job as a high school art teacher, and quickly loses all sense of judgment when a teenage boy gives her some teenage-boy attention.
Judi Dench plays Barbara, a public school teacher close to retirement, who is "single living alone with her cat." Barbara makes sense of her life through her utter disdain and contempt for every human being in her world.
Barbara makes no secret of her dismal opinions, and expresses them in her caustic narrative and conversations that are absolutely appalling and deathly hilarious at the same time. (Well, not all of her observations are hilarious - far from it. What's more, Barbara is writing down every last word in a series of journals that date back years.)
Barbara's hardened heart soon turns to putty when she herself falls for the new teacher, Sheba. Barbara's obsessive crush leads her to befriend Sheba, who, in penance for the sin of being nice to Barbara, soon falls into Barbara's death-trap.If you didn't know you were watching a mad melodrama, the relentless music by Philip Glass makes this crystal clear.
It's easy to look at this story in a surface way, and it's not so far off the map of real life. Now you can't go a month without reading about yet another female school teacher who has a sexual and emotional relationship with a student. "He's 15 years old!!" says Sheba's husband in frantic disbelief when he learns what his wife has done and realizes that she's likely to be arrested very soon, shattering not just his life but his children's lives. Sheba reminds her husband that he was her much older teacher too, and they had a passionate affair. But that, he says, was different - she was 20, and legally an adult.
Bill Nighy is wonderful as Sheba's husband, and Michael Maloney is truly funny as the principal of the school who has to put up with Barbara's contempt for him, the other teachers, and of course, the students. He's beyond thrilled when he finally has a reason to force her to take "early retirement."
Perhaps you will ask yourself, which of these two fascinating characters are you more like? Or can you even see a bit of yourself in both of them, to some degree? I don't think too many women will draw that conclusion rapidly, but perhaps you will somehow find sympathy, not only for Sheba, but even for Barbara. Both actresses in this movie give performances which are utterly perfect. Highly recommended.
Saturday, April 20, 2019
The Secret to Finding Love
Love is pure.
Every moment of your day (and night), your heart is speaking to you.Do your daily actions and thoughts line up with your love life - or the love life you dream of?
People like to think they're always right about everything; that they judge others correctly.
But if ever you find yourself judging someone harshly, instead of that being "right," it's more often than not a sign that you lack understanding or empathy for that person.
Example: A woman presents herself as being highly spiritual, loving, warm, living life to the fullest.
But that same woman gets triggered to raging ugliness when it comes to any mention of Trump. Then everything is "black and white" with no middle ground or reasoned discussion.
Another woman is a "certified life coach" hoping to charge huge fees and gain clients and recommendations.
That same woman screams at the hapless high school senior behind the counter at the pet store... when returning a collar she bought for her cat.
Those same two women want everyone to think they're wonderful; image is everything, blah blah, but their actions reveal, at best, a struggle they're not winning.
And now for the worst example... a 3rd woman engages in backstabbing and sabotage to undercut another woman she doesn't like.
She speaks ill of her "rival" subtly, and secretly hopes to see this woman fail.
She thinks of herself as very evolved, though! And frequently tells other people stories to demonstrate how evolved she is.
Do you think any of these 3 example women are truly happy right now?
Truth is, it wouldn't take too much to plunge them into despair.
Just one thing would have to go wrong to unravel their world in a hurry.
It really all boils down to one thing:
Do you feel love for others; do you respect others?
Not just the ones you like?
Not just the ones who are "successful" in the eyes of others?
Do you open your eyes in the morning with love in your heart toward everyone...?
Can you overcome what "triggers" you, for your own sake and the sake of everyone you encounter every day?
If so then you're well on your way to a life full of love and happiness...
A pure heart finds love.
A Heart-Wrenching Letter from a Young Husband Working on the RMS Titanic
Letters brought out the poet in people. Letters were lovely to receive in your mail, too.
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| Richard C. Geddes (Henry Aldrich and Son) |
His last letter to his wife was posted just before the ship set sail on its doomed maiden voyage.
His name was Richard Geddes, and he wrote an affectionate letter to his wife Sally:
“My dearest Sal, We got away yesterday after a lot of trouble.
"As we were passing the New York and Oceanic the New York broke her ropes and very nearly ran into us, but we just happened to avoid a collision.
“I hope you are feeling good and not worrying. I am feeling pretty good.
"With fondest love and kisses to my dear wife and kiddies.
"Your affectionate husband Dick xxxxx”
(You don't hear that nickname for Richard as much these days, but back then there were a lot of Dicks. There are a lot of them now too, but in a completely different way, I dare say.)
This letter made news because no one knew before about the near-crash with another ship shortly after the Titanic set sail.
What struck me about this beautiful letter was the warmth, love, and affection in the words of this 31-year-old man.
People would commonly address others in letters as "My dearest.." and sign themselves "Your affectionate..." and much more.
But here's the truth:
Despite the fact that people don't write letters the way they used to....
Men still have this love and affection in their hearts.
Men still want to find the right woman to bestow all this love upon... not just for a short time, but for life.
Now how can this be when your man is acting distant?
When he's being distant, you must not lose heart.
You must not take this as a sign to lose your confidence!!
You must distance the distancer.
If he's pushing you away, then don't be around. Go off and live your life.
Be the woman he has to find.
Be elusive. Let him wonder what YOU'RE thinking.
Are you a mystery to him, or are you always an "open book"?
Which one intrigues him more?
I think you know the answer to that!
When you aren't always spilling out all your feelings to the point that it's TOO much for him to handle...
Then he can relax with you!
That's a key part of the Essence of Being Hard To Get.
Giving him more distance than he wants is KEY.
But this doesn't mean you don't come back to him when he makes a grand gesture in your favor!
Men love to prove their love... if only you let them!
Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of Hard To Get: The Timeless Art of Conquering His Heart
Monday, January 14, 2019
Why Wait for the Emotionally Unavailable Man? - UPDATED
"Dear Mimi,
"I am FINALLY starting to realize something: unless a guy is really into you, don't go there or stay there, period.
"Every woman deserves a man who is wholeheartedly into her. Those guys who open up and shut down have issues that are never going to go away. This 'open up/shut down' B.S. is the way they are, and who needs that? It will probably NOT change!
"And do I even need to mention the problems of insecurity these men obviously have?
"There are great men out there who don't do that. I haven't been with too many men who do that, but the one or two who come to mind had ISSUES, and nothing I did or didn't do was going to make them see the light.
"It is a game they play whether they realize they are playing it or not.
"I have two men in my life right now, both of whom I always have GREAT conversations with! There is no constraint between us; we talk about anything.
"These men don't 'disappear' after a deep conversation. They both tell me I am beautiful, that they can't wait to see me, etc., etc. in a sincere way. They are both attractive, intelligent, honest, funny, sweet, athletic, VERY spiritual, etc.
"If I can have that, why would I want one of those nut jobs with emotional issues?
"It ain't worth it! Please, please, please DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME!!!! Never, ever, EVER try to rescue a guy! KNOW what you want and deserve and accept nothing less!
"A relationship only works well when both participants are emotionally healthy. If you have to lead them by the hand or help them along or play some kind of game with them, it will not work. -- C."
Thank you, C., you said it so well! I know there is no looking back for you. Almost every woman alive has had to deal with a man who was "off and on" emotionally, and as C. says - it's NOT worth it!
Of course, I must clarify that there is ONE game that I am more than okay with, and that is the Game of Love, which I'm here to help you WIN, and not only you, but him as well! (There are no losers in this "game"!)
Find out how to play the game of love in my program "Hard To Get: The Timeless Art of Conquering His Heart."
For women who aren't afraid to be a bit of a challenge!
The above was the original post, and as you can see, I bought into this label myself for a while, but then I had a real change of heart. Why is that? Because I am dedicated to understanding things from the man's point of view. This is far too rarely done.
Sunday, September 9, 2018
Was She Right To Apologize To Her Boyfriend?
Will you lose your power if you do? Will you lose goddess points?
This is what I was asked by C., and she's given me permission to share her question:
"Mimi, I hope you're doing well and this note find you in high spirits, especially on Labor Day.
"As a follower of your emails, I would love your thoughts on how to be hard to get after my most recent experience.
"I've been dating a guy for a little more than a year. Everything has been great especially since I have always been hard to get from the beginning. He is the pursuer and I am the pursued.
"Unfortunately things took a turn for the worse when we started talking marriage, and I started pushing for a ring on my timeline.
"At first he seemed fine with the deadline, but then ultimately he decided it was too aggressive.
"He let me know repeatedly he still loves me and wants to marry, but on his timeline.
"I wasn't having it and kept on pushing so he disappeared for three weeks.
"No warning. This was a first for me.
"I decided to reach out to him with an apology, in addition to being open to a more reasonable timeline.
"He responded saying my message meant a lot to him and he loves me very much.
"The relationship feels like it's back on, but I'm not sure if I lost goddess / dream girl points as a result.
"Can I recover and how?"
My answer: You definitely did not lose goddess or dream girl points by apologizing in this case.
There are times when we need to apologize to a man. In doing so, we show our strength, not our weakness.
We're showing a man we do appreciate him... because usually - an apology comes because we haven't been so appreciative.
However - people who apologize too often - that is a sign of weakness. That is an excuse for something else that's going on.
Now let's back up a bit. The problem started when you started talking marriage and a ring. That's where things went wrong.
You can fix mistakes that are made with a guy - something I talk a lot about.
And you can even fix it when you "pushed" too hard for a commitment.
Mindfulness (Well, not quite.)
So today I was feeling philosophical. My little dog was sitting next to me with her head resting on my thigh. I thought, isn't that sweet; she's such a great dog. This is a special moment. I'm going to really experience this moment.
Then I started thinking about mindfulness; about how I should write about the importance of mindfulness...
.... About really being aware of every single moment and every little thing. About being totally tuned in to what your body is telling you.
... About paying attention to what's happening moment by moment, and how great it is to be mindful!
Then I suddenly realized that my dog is now sitting way across the room from me...
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Is It Time To Shake Things Up?
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| My 1997 Jayco Camper Van, a Class B RV, 170K miles and going strong |
I've been planning this trip for quite a while. A few months ago, I bought a 1997 vintage camper van - a "Jayco" - which they don't make any more. It's a wonderful vehicle, let me tell you!
I had lots of work done on the van and it was more or less ready to go. But as things got closer to being real, I found that I was starting to hesitate. I was starting to think that I wasn't that keen on traveling after all...
Nothing could be further from the truth for me. Yes, I love my home, but I truly, deeply love just driving - going places!
And what was I waiting for? Things could change and it might not be as easy to just "take off" - if I waited!
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| Snoqualmie Falls, Washington |
So off I went. I had some great adventures. I met some amazing people. And I drove over five thousand miles.
I can't wait for my next trip. I wouldn't change this one for anything. It's the best thing I've done for myself in years.
So when I wrote this email "Is It Time To Shake Things Up" - this is exactly what I meant!
Here's the email:
Tip of the Day: All growth involves saying good-bye to some things and saying hello to new possibilities. - Nathaniel Branden
Hey Beautiful,
Shake things up.
That's what you've got to do sometimes.
Whatever you're thinking about, I urge you, don't put it off. Find a way to do it.
Don't just keep thinking about it and planning it - do it.
This will clear your head about what's next in your life.
This will show you what you really want and what you don't want.
You may experience some holding back - some fear.
That's normal. When you break past that, you'll be so happy.
You'll feel the ease of being able to reach your goal.
Find a way to shake things up - if you've been in a rut for a while.
You'll be so glad you did!
Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of The Reverse Ultimatum: How To Make Him Realize You're the One He Wants To Marry
Notes from readers:
I guess what I figured out is - you don't stop. I am living my charmed life and will continue until my man puts a ring on my finger. I see him two weekends a month ( because I am attending college, so I stay home to study), I still go out with friends, and need my "me" time.
At first it irritated him that I was less focused on him and more on me, the status quo was gone. He knows I have plans for the future so if he wants to be a part of them he needs to get on board 'cause this train is leaving!!!
* * * *
I began seeing a man last spring who had left his 8-year relationship and had dated one woman between that and asking me out. He was very upfront with the woman that she was a 'rebound' relationship and that he had no interest in any long term commitments.
That's what he said - but she didn't seem to hear it. After 3 months she told him she loved him and started taking him to look at houses in hopes of living together.
He bolted. He told me this so that I knew where he stood and not to have expectations.
When I started seeing him I had already read the Reverse Ultimatum. I asked for nothing and continued with my busy schedule. When I was with him I was entirely focused on him. When I was not, I was busy with my own life.
He told me he loved me in three weeks. He proposed in six months. Our wedding date is set for June and we have bought a house together.
This man tells me every day how blessed he feels to have me in his life.
Bottom line here - when a man says he isn't ready for a commitment, LISTEN to HIM! I see women all the time who think that his kindness and affections trump his words. They don't.
Mimi, I think you are bang-on with your advice and am living proof that letting a man chase you is the greatest gift you can give to both him and yourself!
This totally made my day! I love what she wrote: "I see women all the time who think that his kindness and affections trump his words. They don't."
Listen To His Words!! (And then take it from there!)
Here's my Reverse Ultimatum step-by-step formula:
www.reverseultimatum.com
Love Finds You When You're Not Looking

You're not looking for them because you're "engaged" in what you're doing.
This is a great way to fall in love.
For example, when you're friends first, you aren't self-conscious!
There is nothing quite like that dizzying moment when you recognize that your friendship has become much more than a friendship. It's unforgettable.
Another reason you may not be looking for love is because you think you're "done with" being in love. I hear that one a lot!
Mary Tyler Moore, the beloved actress, fell in love with the doctor, Robert Levine, who was treating her mother.
You can bet she didn't plan on that one!
Because he was there in his professional role, it was up to Mary to do something to show her interest.
Robert said to Mary, "If there’s an emergency, just get in touch with me."
Mary replied, "Does acute loneliness count?"
And Dr. Levine said, "Yes."
That was the beginning of their relationship, which soon led to marriage, and which lasted for 33 years, through the rest of Mary's life.
Even a celebrity has to know when to be vulnerable.
This was Mary's third marriage. Sometimes you don't find lasting love until you've learned from previous relationships.
It's a continual learning process. And to stay fresh, you must keep learning and growing!
Saturday, January 7, 2017
Notes From a Camper Van Voyage
| Excellent photo borrowed from Twitter.com |
If you're new to this newsletter, I've been asked to continue talking about my Camper Van Voyage!
The setting today: an icy road in the mountains with a lot of icy bridges. And some breathtaking views I wish I could show you.
I've made plenty of driving errors - like making a U turn to go back and get a picture of that view, and then realizing shrewdly...
... that I was going the wrong way on a 1-way road. The other drivers picked up on this right away... : )
They were mostly truckers. They blinked lights at me and nicely advised me to turn my car back around!
Yes, there have been a few TENSE moments.
The photo above is not taken by me; I found it on Twitter from a driver who was on the same road.
Here's another one - a live cam from today:
These photos definitely don't do justice to the views nor the fact that we were all stopped for over 2 hours so that trucks could be checked for snow chains.
One official tried to tell me not to go on the road; he was distracted, it was too late, I didn't know what to do, and worried I was driving into the pit of hell, only very cold and very high.
It turned out to be just fine and once I realized I was not in danger I got my driving confidence back!!
It may be only my Texas license plate and occasionally bewildered expression that is keeping me from getting a stern talking-to from law enforcement.
A few days ago I was at the Mexican border facing five uniformed guards and a German Shepherd!
That turned out to be the easy part...
The next few days I'll save the camper van voyage updates because I'll be working at some undisclosed location!!
Still lots of snow and ice though!
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Do You Already Know Your Future Husband?
Maybe he's completely different than who you think you'll fall in love with.
Sometimes the love of your life is not who you expect:
Hello Mimi,
Thank you for reminding us that there are more men out there than we think.
When I first met my husband, he was chubby, smoked, drank, cursed, and was three years younger than me.
All of these factors turned me off him as a potential mate.
He was however, charming, disarmingly funny, very sensitive, intelligent, and respectful towards me. So, I went out with him.
Before I knew what hit me I was in love with him and he with me. We've been together for 20 years now.
The message here is don't write them off before you even get to know them!
P.S. He still drinks, doesn't curse or smoke anymore, and he is still chubby. He's also the best husband, father and provider I could ever hope for!
Keep up the great work Mimi!
Regards,
"Shelly" (not her real name)
Thank you, Shelly, I love your story! You said it all.
And the news is even better.
It is more than possible to multiply the number of possible future loves by ten.
I mean, when you open up your eyes, you have ten times more men to choose from.
There are SO many ways to do this - not just one way.
One way is to consider men whom you never thought about before.
Maybe you have the idea that you can only fall in love with a certain "type."
Or maybe you tell yourself that you'll only date men who agree with certain important views you have.
Sure, some views are non-negotiable... but what if there are only a few thousand ELIGIBLE men your age in the entire country who match up?
It's a numbers game. If your possible numbers are too small, and you want to get married - then it's time to get practical - and ramp up those numbers!
In fact...
There are men in your world right this minute you haven't yet considered - one of them could become the love of your life.
He doesn't have to be close to your age.
He doesn't have to be your "type" - yet!
His education background or his job... may be different than you have in mind...
Yes - there really are ten times more men who are eligible - for YOU...
...If you just open up your eyes.
Make it fun.
Try giving this man a hint more of your flirty attention.
Just a smile... that is warmer than usual.
Just a gaze... that lasts a little longer.
Just a blush... that lets him know you've NOTICED him.
It's called flirting!
No matter how the technology changes.... the ability to flirt is forever!
Find out the easy way to flirt with men:
www.secrets-of-flirting.com
Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of Secrets of Flirting With Men
Sunday, October 9, 2016
The Exact Words To Say To Him When You're Upset
Have you ever thought:
If he really cares about me, then he'll make me a priority.
If he really cares about me, then he'll care about how this affects me.
What is the solution to this frustration?
Do you see the frustration on his end? When you do, you can create the solution.
The secret is: how to make what YOU WANT go together with what HE NEEDS - according to my good friend Bob.
"What he craves is serenity," says relationship expert Bob Grant, LPC.
"He wants an emotional connection with you… without having to go through an emotional workout," states Bob.
"If he knows that listening to you calms you down, makes you feel more affectionate, then he sees that listening to you is helpful."
Here's the problem - you may expect him to just "get" you - according to Bob, who has been helping his clients for over 20 years.
So I have a huge treat for you right now.
I'm going to tell you the exact words Bob recommends to say to him when you're upset.
According to Bob Grant, say this: “I’m a bit overwhelmed right now.”
Bob says, "Say this slowly and softly, even if you don’t feel like it.
"Then just wait.
"Wait for him to respond. Wait for your words to sink in. Wait for the guard around his heart to slowly lower and you’ll see that he actually wants to help you."
That's just one example of the magic of Bob Grant!
Bob's signature book is "The Woman Men Adore"
www.thewomanmenadore.com
For ten years now, women have been writing to me to tell me how much this book helps them:
"This book is a godsend!"
"I cried when I read it - this is the missing piece!"
I rarely recommend books, as you know... don't get me started on why... But this is a rare exception:
Find out how to become The Woman Men Adore.
www.thewomanmenadore.com
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Monday, September 12, 2016
He Didn't Date For 20 Years. Here's What Changed:
Just one problem - the article doesn't reveal anything whatsoever about how men fall in love!
All it really says is that the 2 men profiled were overjoyed when they were in love.
(No, really??) :)
But the comments.... oh, the comments are great. They usually are in the NY Times!
One jumped out at me and I want to share it.
This man didn't date for 20 years. Then he fell in love - when he didn't ever expect to fall in love again.
He writes: "I was actually 65 when I hooked into my first romantic relationship in 20 years.
"It has been an eye opener, basically because I was sure that it was a thing of the past.
"I find myself now feeling more in love than I have ever been. Who would have thunk. We will marry in June.
(Now here's the important part:)
"What I found out, at least for me, was that I had not been open to accepting the faults in others, and had been magnifying them so as to dramatically reduce the number of prospects out there.
"When I learned to be attracted to vulnerability in others, and to seek someone who could accept my own faults, I found myself surrounded by potential connections and quite open to love."
What a great story he shared!
What made the difference?
He realized that he was focusing too much on the faults of others.
He was critical. He eliminated great women because he'd find fault with them.
What changed?
He realized one very, very important truth.
Not one single person is perfect.
I don't care if they're a movie star. I don't care if they're rich. Everyone has a fault that will drive you crazy.
Everyone has a BIG fault. And not just one, either.
And they will find out the exact same thing about you!
What changed for him? He recognized that any woman he chooses is going to have her "fatal flaw."
And when he softened... what happened?
He now had a thousand-fold more women to fall in love with!
His odds went up to the moon - where before, he had 20 YEARS of zero.
I'm here to tell you that 20 years of no relationship is not as uncommon as you might think.
In fact, people get divorced, and think that in a few years, they will meet the LOVE of their LIFE.
Then ten years later, they are still going through men - dumping them, and getting dumped. Or giving up.
What did he say again?
"What I found out, at least for me, was that I had not been open to accepting the faults in others, and had been magnifying them so as to dramatically reduce the number of prospects out there.
"When I learned to be attracted to vulnerability in others, and to seek someone who could accept my own faults, I found myself surrounded by potential connections and quite open to love."
Beautiful!!
What men see when they look at certain women is a hardness.
They see a cynicism.
That's one reason they marry women from across the globe. It's very true.
So the first way to soften is to accept that every man you know has faults.
That doesn't mean you have to marry him.
But looking for Mr. No-Faults is a losing battle.
The change starts from the inside... in your heart.
Soften your heart and be open to accept that he is imperfect - just like you.
Being soft-hearted is actually the core of being Hard To Get.
But women who don't know the principles end up making a huge mistake and come off as not "hard to get" but instead - "hard hearted"!
That's because they really don't understand the deep principles of being Hard To Get.
Hard To Get IS a misunderstood concept to many people.
The truth is... Hard To Get is more of an art - based on solid principles of human nature.
And based on being deeply kind to yourself and him...
Giving him what he really wants, not what he thinks he wants!
In "Hard To Get" we get deep into every single aspect of how to make him want you so much...
... that he simple MUST have you alone, and no other woman comes close!
Go here to find out more about this program:
www.hardtoget.com
I look forward to seeing you there!
Monday, September 5, 2016
Your Power Over Him
You have far more power over him than you think.
That's what so few women truly understand!
This young man surprised me. He said to my daughter, "You don't know the power you have over me."
"What do you mean?" she asked him.
"You can ask me pretty much anything, and I'll do it for you," he answered.
And it's true, she told me. "If I say I feel cold, he jumps up to get me a blanket. He always wants to do nice things for me," she said.
When you hear that, you know a man is IN LOVE.
Most men wouldn't reveal this valuable information about the POWER a woman they love has!
This special young man wasn't afraid to tell my daughter the truth about her power over him!
And you know what?
Most women throw that power away!
Things are going THIS WELL with a man - but shortly after this lovely scene, everything goes to hell in a hand basket!
I'll tell you one reason:
You throw away your power by starting to complain.
I get to read first-hand what complaining sounds like. Just this morning I've been reading an all-caps rant.
I look back at the previous emails from this person and she writes: "I'm so frustrated... etc etc!!"
Trust me, it's not fun to read that. People always assume they're writing to large corporations with vast desks of faceless customer service helpers.
People behave in patterns. They do the same kinds of things over and over.
They're either very sweet - or very not!
They're either on the ball - or constantly confused!
As much as I hate to admit it, I've been guilty of some of this myself! But when you see it from someone else, the light switch flips on!
And you realize how "bloody awful" it is to project this attitude.
Instead of complaining, say something once sweetly. Then move on.
I totally get it about complaining. You're a perfectionist. You're observant.
You're not really complaining, you're trying to fix something that you really, really CARE about!
That you understand better than other people!
Oh, I get it. But that's no excuse for being a pain in the you know what.
There are women out there who still don't know why they have driven every single husband and boyfriend away.
To me, it's obvious. They drove him away with their constant negativity.
When you realize what a PITA you are being, you will want to absolutely melt into the ground.
That's just ONE problem. Just one.
You have power - the power to make yourself and him exceedingly happy.
Hold on to your power with men by getting control of your attitudes.
That's the #1 way to hang on to your power with men!
Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of Hard To Get: The Timeless Art of Conquering His Heart
Monday, August 22, 2016
From That Moment, It's 'Game On'
Hey Beautiful,
Grab coffee for this true story:
"I'm having a lot of fun (and success!) with your Secrets of Flirting program. Truth is, I'd gotten out of touch with how to flirt, so I ordered your program, out of curiosity!
"Right now I'm in physical therapy. My physical therapist is a wonderful guy.
"He's not what you'd call handsome; more like 'cute'! He has a great sense of humor; he's always kidding everyone.
"He loves to rub his hands together and act like he enjoys torturing me. :) There's been some definite chemistry between us.
"Now that I have your program, just for fun, I'm 'practicing' on him!
"His favorite line, when I'm moaning from pain from the physical therapy, is, 'It doesn't bother ME one bit!'
"So I replied, 'Oh NOTHING ever bothers YOU one bit!'
"That lit him up like a Christmas tree. In that instant he realized, I want to 'play'!
"He warned me (playfully), of many more tortures ahead!
"From that moment, it's been 'game on'. We're teasing each other relentlessly.
"-Cecilia"
It's fun to flirt when you know how!
That's why I created the complete guide to Flirting - the original and the BEST flirting guide - easy lessons and tips so you know exactly what to say and do:
Secrets of Flirting With Men
Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of Secrets of Flirting With Men
Monday, February 8, 2016
Lady Gaga Nails the National Anthem at the 2016 Super Bowl
Absolutely beautiful - performed with grace, respect and sincerity. Lady Gaga puts the focus on the beautiful song, wearing a glittering red pants suit with blue nail polish. This reminds me of her tribute to "The Sound of Music" at the 2015 Oscar broadcast. Both times, she impressed me with what these performances show about her heart and her love for music. Thank you for being a great American, Lady Gaga! Your performance made millions of hearts glad.
Self-Check: Is This An Abusive Relationship?
Hey Beautiful,
I'll always remember this: it was Fresno, California, and I was living at the YWCA Women's Residence Hall building - which at that time was a beautiful building where you could rent a room for $22 a week!
I had a darling blue room all to myself on the 2nd floor, and all I want to know is, why did I ever leave??
I made a couple of new friends there. One of them, Mary, talked to me one night about her abusive boyfriend. She told me that he literally was physically abusive.
"He beats me," she said, tears on her face. I'll never forget that moment.
That shocked me. But I was even more shocked when she somehow sneaked him in the window not long after that conversation - and got back together with him.
That was my first encounter close up with an abusive relationship. I was very naive then. But since then I've sadly seen a few more up close. It's especially tough to see this happen to young women who don't know what they're getting themselves into.
The trouble with an abusive or toxic relationship is: most people who are in them don't want to believe that there's something desperately wrong going on here.
Sometimes people walk into their first (and hopefully only) toxic relationship not knowing what they've gotten themselves into for a long time. They keep trying to make it work.
Want to know if you or someone else is in an abusive relationship? Let's talk about this.
Here are 9 "self-check" questions to identify an abusive or toxic relationship:
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #1: When you're WITH him, are you usually laughing... or crying?
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #2: Your times together turn into a familiar cycle of tension, conflict, misery, then desperately seeking reassurance, endless apologies, and making up. Soon the cycle starts again.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #3: Drugs or alcohol go hand in hand with your relationship troubles.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #4: You find yourself drawn into bickering and arguments that take up hours, while everything and everyone else is neglected.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #5: You don't want to call your relationship “abusive” even though others think it is. You feel that's laying all the blame on your partner. But you will admit that it's "toxic" - sometimes. Then later you'll change your mind on that.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #6: Despite the frequent tension and misery you experience from his harsh words, blame, and criticism - you feel fiercely loyal to your partner.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #7: You've become so accustomed to "walking on eggshells" to avoid upsetting your partner... that you no longer realize you're doing it.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #8: Friends and family frequently offer to help you leave the relationship. Eventually they start offering less often because they don't think you ever will leave.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #9: In spite of the constant fighting, you refer to your boyfriend as your “husband” or “fiance” as often as possible.
Now I don't yet have #10 of this "top ten" list - and I'm sure there are more than ten.
But I know someone out there can chime in with more observations or personal experiences of the hallmarks of an abusive or toxic relationship.
Feel free to send in what you'd like to share with readers - a brief comment for #10 "self-check" to help people start to recognize when a relationship is unhealthy.
Because the biggest problem of all seems to be the women who are emotionally trapped and who may take months or years to break free.
Life is supposed to be joyful. If your relationship isn't bringing you joy, then it's time to figure out truly why that is.
Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of Secrets of Flirting With Men
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
"Argo" - If You Lived During This Time, Bring Extra Hankies When You See This Great Movie
As a result of this movie, I have learned so much more about the facts of the hostage crisis (more than what the movie shows) and about Tony Mendez, and more.
This movie and the people in it remind me so much of "larger-than-life" people and events in my own life at this same time.
The artists who created the look of this film did an amazing job recreating this time period. For anyone who lived during these days, it is profoundly affecting. (Translation: you will need at least five tissues!)
Photograph: Clea Duvall in "Argo"
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Scarlett O'Hara, Vivien Leigh, Mission Statements, and Hot Love Affairs
Recently, I got my daughter to watch "GWTW" with me. Just having her experience this amazing movie, which is so far removed from what's out there today, was tremendously enjoyable. I hadn't seen this movie in years myself, and now I had a very much renewed appreciation for this movie.
As a teen and young adult, I read Margaret Mitchell's novel countless times. I still have my old paperback copy. I have studied much about her life and have always admired Margaret Mitchell greatly - she's definitely one of my heroes.
One thing I love about her was that she, like a few other heroes of mine, wrote ONE... GREAT.... BOOK.
Fortunately I read her book long before the ADHD age we all live in now. I hope I can read it again soon.
In fact, Scarlett herself provided my business with its Mission Statement:
"As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again. No, nor any of my folks. If I have to lie, steal, cheat, or kill, as God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again."
Yes, that Mission Statement has worked well for us in recent years. We stand by it. :)
Vivien Leigh and her "Scarlett" was beyond amazing. Who can imagine another person playing Scarlett. She was perfect. At the time, she was in a mad love affair with the great Lawrence Olivier and they were reportedly insanely hot for each other for many years. Of course, they married and shared many happy years, as well as difficult ones - it was a great love.
If you have never seen GWTW, you are seriously missing out - run, don't walk, and settle in for a lot of surprises. Then read the book and you'll get an even greater feast of knowledge about a time that was really not so long ago.
In the memorable words of Scarlett, "Take your hands off me.... you drunken fool."
Video Credit: Guiliana Delgado
Fantastic video, Guiliana!
http://www.youtube.com/user/giulianadp
Movie: Gone With the Wind (1939)
The many Academy Awards it received include Best Picture, Best Actress (Vivien Leigh), Best Supporting Actress (Hattie McDaniel), Best Screenplay (Sidney Howard), Best Director (Victor Fleming).
Video Credit: EternalLveStory08
http://www.youtube.com/user/EternalLveStory08
Wonderful video!
Monday, December 24, 2012
Merry Christmas!
Mannheim Steamroller: "Hark the Herald Angels Sing"
Mannheim Steamroller: "Veni Veni"
Celtic Woman: "Christmas Pipes"















