Saturday, April 20, 2019

The Secret to Finding Love

Love is pure.

Love is pure.

Every moment of your day (and night), your heart is speaking to you.

Do your daily actions and thoughts line up with your love life - or the love life you dream of?

People like to think they're always right about everything; that they judge others correctly.

But if ever you find yourself judging someone harshly, instead of that being "right," it's more often than not a sign that you lack understanding or empathy for that person.

Example: A woman presents herself as being highly spiritual, loving, warm, living life to the fullest.

But that same woman gets triggered to raging ugliness when it comes to any mention of Trump. Then everything is "black and white" with no middle ground or reasoned discussion.

Another woman is a "certified life coach" hoping to charge huge fees and gain clients and recommendations.

That same woman screams at the hapless high school senior behind the counter at the pet store... when returning a collar she bought for her cat.

Those same two women want everyone to think they're wonderful; image is everything, blah blah, but their actions reveal, at best, a struggle they're not winning.

And now for the worst example... a 3rd woman engages in backstabbing and sabotage to undercut another woman she doesn't like.

She speaks ill of her "rival" subtly, and secretly hopes to see this woman fail.

She thinks of herself as very evolved, though! And frequently tells other people stories to demonstrate how evolved she is.

Do you think any of these 3 example women are truly happy right now?

Truth is, it wouldn't take too much to plunge them into despair.

Just one thing would have to go wrong to unravel their world in a hurry.

It really all boils down to one thing:

Do you feel love for others; do you respect others?

Not just the ones you like?

Not just the ones who are "successful" in the eyes of others?

Do you open your eyes in the morning with love in your heart toward everyone...?

Can you overcome what "triggers" you, for your own sake and the sake of everyone you encounter every day?

If so then you're well on your way to a life full of love and happiness...

A pure heart finds love.

A Heart-Wrenching Letter from a Young Husband Working on the RMS Titanic

Before cell phones, Facebook, and the like, there were hand-written letters.

Letters brought out the poet in people. Letters were lovely to receive in your mail, too.

Richard C. Geddes (Henry Aldrich and Son)
Just recently, a letter was discovered which made news. It was written by a young husband and father who worked aboard the RMS Titanic.

His last letter to his wife was posted just before the ship set sail on its doomed maiden voyage.

His name was Richard Geddes, and he wrote an affectionate letter to his wife Sally:

“My dearest Sal, We got away yesterday after a lot of trouble.

"As we were passing the New York and Oceanic the New York broke her ropes and very nearly ran into us, but we just happened to avoid a collision.

“I hope you are feeling good and not worrying. I am feeling pretty good.

"With fondest love and kisses to my dear wife and kiddies.

"Your affectionate husband Dick xxxxx”

(You don't hear that nickname for Richard as much these days, but back then there were a lot of Dicks. There are a lot of them now too, but in a completely different way, I dare say.)

This letter made news because no one knew before about the near-crash with another ship shortly after the Titanic set sail.

What struck me about this beautiful letter was the warmth, love, and affection in the words of this 31-year-old man.

People would commonly address others in letters as "My dearest.." and sign themselves "Your affectionate..." and much more.

But here's the truth:

Despite the fact that people don't write letters the way they used to....

Men still have this love and affection in their hearts.

Men still want to find the right woman to bestow all this love upon... not just for a short time, but for life.

Now how can this be when your man is acting distant?

When he's being distant, you must not lose heart.

You must not take this as a sign to lose your confidence!!

You must distance the distancer.

If he's pushing you away, then don't be around. Go off and live your life.

Be the woman he has to find.

Be elusive. Let him wonder what YOU'RE thinking.

Are you a mystery to him, or are you always an "open book"?

Which one intrigues him more?

I think you know the answer to that!

When you aren't always spilling out all your feelings to the point that it's TOO much for him to handle...

Then he can relax with you!

That's a key part of the Essence of Being Hard To Get.

Giving him more distance than he wants is KEY.

But this doesn't mean you don't come back to him when he makes a grand gesture in your favor!

Men love to prove their love... if only you let them!

Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!

With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of Hard To Get: The Timeless Art of Conquering His Heart

Monday, January 14, 2019

Why Wait for the Emotionally Unavailable Man?

I received this note, and it says it so well:

"Dear Mimi,

"I am FINALLY starting to realize something: unless a guy is really into you, don't go there or stay there, period.

"Every woman deserves a man who is wholeheartedly into her. Those guys who open up and shut down have issues that are never going to go away. This 'open up/shut down' B.S. is the way they are, and who needs that? It will probably NOT change!

"And do I even need to mention the problems of insecurity these men obviously have?

"There are great men out there who don't do that. I haven't been with too many men who do that, but the one or two who come to mind had ISSUES, and nothing I did or didn't do was going to make them see the light.

"It is a game they play whether they realize they are playing it or not.

"I have two men in my life right now, both of whom I always have GREAT conversations with! There is no constraint between us; we talk about anything.

"These men don't 'disappear' after a deep conversation. They both tell me I am beautiful, that they can't wait to see me, etc., etc. in a sincere way. They are both attractive, intelligent, honest, funny, sweet, athletic, VERY spiritual, etc.

"If I can have that, why would I want one of those nut jobs with emotional issues?

"It ain't worth it! Please, please, please DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME!!!! Never, ever, EVER try to rescue a guy! KNOW what you want and deserve and accept nothing less!

"A relationship only works well when both participants are emotionally healthy. If you have to lead them by the hand or help them along or play some kind of game with them, it will not work. -- C."

Thank you, C., you said it so well! I know there is no looking back for you. Almost every woman alive has had to deal with a man who was "off and on" emotionally, and as C. says - it's NOT worth it!

Of course, I must clarify that there is ONE game that I am more than okay with, and that is the Game of Love, which I'm here to help you WIN, and not only you, but him as well! (There are no losers in this "game"!)

Find out how to play the game of love in my program "Hard To Get: The Timeless Art of Conquering His Heart."

For women who aren't afraid to be a bit of a challenge!

Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!

With love,
Mimi Tanner

Sunday, September 9, 2018

Was She Right To Apologize To Her Boyfriend?

Should you ever apologize to a man?

Will you lose your power if you do? Will you lose goddess points?

This is what I was asked by C., and she's given me permission to share her question:

"Mimi, I hope you're doing well and this note find you in high spirits, especially on Labor Day.

"As a follower of your emails, I would love your thoughts on how to be hard to get after my most recent experience.

"I've been dating a guy for a little more than a year. Everything has been great especially since I have always been hard to get from the beginning. He is the pursuer and I am the pursued.

"Unfortunately things took a turn for the worse when we started talking marriage, and I started pushing for a ring on my timeline.

"At first he seemed fine with the deadline, but then ultimately he decided it was too aggressive.

"He let me know repeatedly he still loves me and wants to marry, but on his timeline.

"I wasn't having it and kept on pushing so he disappeared for three weeks.

"No warning. This was a first for me.

"I decided to reach out to him with an apology, in addition to being open to a more reasonable timeline.

"He responded saying my message meant a lot to him and he loves me very much.

"The relationship feels like it's back on, but I'm not sure if I lost goddess / dream girl points as a result.

"Can I recover and how?"

My answer: You definitely did not lose goddess or dream girl points by apologizing in this case.

There are times when we need to apologize to a man. In doing so, we show our strength, not our weakness.

We're showing a man we do appreciate him... because usually - an apology comes because we haven't been so appreciative.

However - people who apologize too often - that is a sign of weakness. That is an excuse for something else that's going on.

Now let's back up a bit. The problem started when you started talking marriage and a ring. That's where things went wrong.

You can fix mistakes that are made with a guy - something I talk a lot about.

And you can even fix it when you "pushed" too hard for a commitment.

Mindfulness (Well, not quite.)

So today I was feeling philosophical. My little dog was sitting next to me with her head resting on my thigh. I thought, isn't that sweet; she's such a great dog. This is a special moment. I'm going to really experience this moment.

Then I started thinking about mindfulness; about how I should write about the importance of mindfulness...

.... About really being aware of every single moment and every little thing. About being totally tuned in to what your body is telling you.

... About paying attention to what's happening moment by moment, and how great it is to be mindful!

Then I suddenly realized that my dog is now sitting way across the room from me...