The New York Times has an article about how men fall in love.
Just one problem - the article doesn't reveal anything whatsoever about how men fall in love!
All it really says is that the 2 men profiled were overjoyed when they were in love.
(No, really??) :)
But the comments.... oh, the comments are great. They usually are in the NY Times!
One jumped out at me and I want to share it.
This man didn't date for 20 years. Then he fell in love - when he didn't ever expect to fall in love again.
He writes: "I was actually 65 when I hooked into my first romantic relationship in 20 years.
"It has been an eye opener, basically because I was sure that it was a thing of the past.
"I find myself now feeling more in love than I have ever been. Who would have thunk. We will marry in June.
(Now here's the important part:)
"What I found out, at least for me, was that I had not been open to accepting the faults in others, and had been magnifying them so as to dramatically reduce the number of prospects out there.
"When I learned to be attracted to vulnerability in others, and to seek someone who could accept my own faults, I found myself surrounded by potential connections and quite open to love."
What a great story he shared!
What made the difference?
He realized that he was focusing too much on the faults of others.
He was critical. He eliminated great women because he'd find fault with them.
What changed?
He realized one very, very important truth.
Not one single person is perfect.
I don't care if they're a movie star. I don't care if they're rich. Everyone has a fault that will drive you crazy.
Everyone has a BIG fault. And not just one, either.
And they will find out the exact same thing about you!
What changed for him? He recognized that any woman he chooses is going to have her "fatal flaw."
And when he softened... what happened?
He now had a thousand-fold more women to fall in love with!
His odds went up to the moon - where before, he had 20 YEARS of zero.
I'm here to tell you that 20 years of no relationship is not as uncommon as you might think.
In fact, people get divorced, and think that in a few years, they will meet the LOVE of their LIFE.
Then ten years later, they are still going through men - dumping them, and getting dumped. Or giving up.
What did he say again?
"What I found out, at least for me, was that I had not been open to accepting the faults in others, and had been magnifying them so as to dramatically reduce the number of prospects out there.
"When I learned to be attracted to vulnerability in others, and to seek someone who could accept my own faults, I found myself surrounded by potential connections and quite open to love."
Beautiful!!
What men see when they look at certain women is a hardness.
They see a cynicism.
That's one reason they marry women from across the globe. It's very true.
So the first way to soften is to accept that every man you know has faults.
That doesn't mean you have to marry him.
But looking for Mr. No-Faults is a losing battle.
The change starts from the inside... in your heart.
Soften your heart and be open to accept that he is imperfect - just like you.
Being soft-hearted is actually the core of being Hard To Get.
But women who don't know the principles end up making a huge mistake and come off as not "hard to get" but instead - "hard hearted"!
That's because they really don't understand the deep principles of being Hard To Get.
Hard To Get IS a misunderstood concept to many people.
The truth is... Hard To Get is more of an art - based on solid principles of human nature.
And based on being deeply kind to yourself and him...
Giving him what he really wants, not what he thinks he wants!
In "Hard To Get" we get deep into every single aspect of how to make him want you so much...
... that he simple MUST have you alone, and no other woman comes close!
Go here to find out more about this program:
www.hardtoget.com
I look forward to seeing you there!
Monday, September 12, 2016
Monday, September 5, 2016
Your Power Over Him
Hey Beautiful,
You have far more power over him than you think.
That's what so few women truly understand!
This young man surprised me. He said to my daughter, "You don't know the power you have over me."
"What do you mean?" she asked him.
"You can ask me pretty much anything, and I'll do it for you," he answered.
And it's true, she told me. "If I say I feel cold, he jumps up to get me a blanket. He always wants to do nice things for me," she said.
When you hear that, you know a man is IN LOVE.
Most men wouldn't reveal this valuable information about the POWER a woman they love has!
This special young man wasn't afraid to tell my daughter the truth about her power over him!
And you know what?
Most women throw that power away!
Things are going THIS WELL with a man - but shortly after this lovely scene, everything goes to hell in a hand basket!
I'll tell you one reason:
You throw away your power by starting to complain.
I get to read first-hand what complaining sounds like. Just this morning I've been reading an all-caps rant.
I look back at the previous emails from this person and she writes: "I'm so frustrated... etc etc!!"
Trust me, it's not fun to read that. People always assume they're writing to large corporations with vast desks of faceless customer service helpers.
People behave in patterns. They do the same kinds of things over and over.
They're either very sweet - or very not!
They're either on the ball - or constantly confused!
As much as I hate to admit it, I've been guilty of some of this myself! But when you see it from someone else, the light switch flips on!
And you realize how "bloody awful" it is to project this attitude.
Instead of complaining, say something once sweetly. Then move on.
I totally get it about complaining. You're a perfectionist. You're observant.
You're not really complaining, you're trying to fix something that you really, really CARE about!
That you understand better than other people!
Oh, I get it. But that's no excuse for being a pain in the you know what.
There are women out there who still don't know why they have driven every single husband and boyfriend away.
To me, it's obvious. They drove him away with their constant negativity.
When you realize what a PITA you are being, you will want to absolutely melt into the ground.
That's just ONE problem. Just one.
You have power - the power to make yourself and him exceedingly happy.
Hold on to your power with men by getting control of your attitudes.
That's the #1 way to hang on to your power with men!
Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of Hard To Get: The Timeless Art of Conquering His Heart
You have far more power over him than you think.
That's what so few women truly understand!
This young man surprised me. He said to my daughter, "You don't know the power you have over me."
"What do you mean?" she asked him.
"You can ask me pretty much anything, and I'll do it for you," he answered.
And it's true, she told me. "If I say I feel cold, he jumps up to get me a blanket. He always wants to do nice things for me," she said.
When you hear that, you know a man is IN LOVE.
Most men wouldn't reveal this valuable information about the POWER a woman they love has!
This special young man wasn't afraid to tell my daughter the truth about her power over him!
And you know what?
Most women throw that power away!
Things are going THIS WELL with a man - but shortly after this lovely scene, everything goes to hell in a hand basket!
I'll tell you one reason:
You throw away your power by starting to complain.
I get to read first-hand what complaining sounds like. Just this morning I've been reading an all-caps rant.
I look back at the previous emails from this person and she writes: "I'm so frustrated... etc etc!!"
Trust me, it's not fun to read that. People always assume they're writing to large corporations with vast desks of faceless customer service helpers.
People behave in patterns. They do the same kinds of things over and over.
They're either very sweet - or very not!
They're either on the ball - or constantly confused!
As much as I hate to admit it, I've been guilty of some of this myself! But when you see it from someone else, the light switch flips on!
And you realize how "bloody awful" it is to project this attitude.
Instead of complaining, say something once sweetly. Then move on.
I totally get it about complaining. You're a perfectionist. You're observant.
You're not really complaining, you're trying to fix something that you really, really CARE about!
That you understand better than other people!
Oh, I get it. But that's no excuse for being a pain in the you know what.
There are women out there who still don't know why they have driven every single husband and boyfriend away.
To me, it's obvious. They drove him away with their constant negativity.
When you realize what a PITA you are being, you will want to absolutely melt into the ground.
That's just ONE problem. Just one.
You have power - the power to make yourself and him exceedingly happy.
Hold on to your power with men by getting control of your attitudes.
That's the #1 way to hang on to your power with men!
Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of Hard To Get: The Timeless Art of Conquering His Heart
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