Is It Time To Shake Things Up?

I wrote this "daily email" titled "Is It Time To Shake Things Up?" - and sent it out to my "list." But the real story is what I didn't say.

My 1997 Jayco Camper Van, a Class B RV, 170K miles and going strong

What I didn't say is that the advice I'm giving here is exactly what I have just done in my own life. I did shake things up by just "taking off"! I took off and traveled around the country for exactly 31 days.

I've been planning this trip for quite a while. A few months ago, I bought a 1997 vintage camper van - a "Jayco" - which they don't make any more. It's a wonderful vehicle, let me tell you!

I had lots of work done on the van and it was more or less ready to go. But as things got closer to being real, I found that I was starting to hesitate. I was starting to think that I wasn't that keen on traveling after all...

Nothing could be further from the truth for me. Yes, I love my home, but I truly, deeply love just driving - going places!

And what was I waiting for? Things could change and it might not be as easy to just "take off" - if I waited!

Snoqualmie Falls, Washington

So I stopped waiting. The timing was great - January - so I could take along my two dogs and it would be plenty cool enough for them to be in the van when I was inside a shop or a restaurant.

So off I went. I had some great adventures. I met some amazing people. And I drove over five thousand miles.

I can't wait for my next trip. I wouldn't change this one for anything. It's the best thing I've done for myself in years.

So when I wrote this email "Is It Time To Shake Things Up" - this is exactly what I meant!

Here's the email:

Tip of the Day: All growth involves saying good-bye to some things and saying hello to new possibilities. - Nathaniel Branden

Hey Beautiful,

Shake things up.

That's what you've got to do sometimes.

Whatever you're thinking about, I urge you, don't put it off. Find a way to do it.

Don't just keep thinking about it and planning it - do it.

This will clear your head about what's next in your life.

This will show you what you really want and what you don't want.

You may experience some holding back - some fear.

That's normal. When you break past that, you'll be so happy.

You'll feel the ease of being able to reach your goal.

Find a way to shake things up - if you've been in a rut for a while.

You'll be so glad you did!

Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!

With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of The Reverse Ultimatum: How To Make Him Realize You're the One He Wants To Marry

Notes from readers: 

Mimi, I have been using your program and my guy went from being complacent to "can't get enough of me" and now talking about "our" future together. I have been using these principles for about 6 months.

I guess what I figured out is - you don't stop. I am living my charmed life and will continue until my man puts a ring on my finger. I see him two weekends a month ( because I am attending college, so I stay home to study), I still go out with friends, and need my "me" time.

At first it irritated him that I was less focused on him and more on me, the status quo was gone. He knows I have plans for the future so if he wants to be a part of them he needs to get on board 'cause this train is leaving!!!

* * * *

I began seeing a man last spring who had left his 8-year relationship and had dated one woman between that and asking me out. He was very upfront with the woman that she was a 'rebound' relationship and that he had no interest in any long term commitments.

That's what he said - but she didn't seem to hear it. After 3 months she told him she loved him and started taking him to look at houses in hopes of living together.

He bolted. He told me this so that I knew where he stood and not to have expectations.

When I started seeing him I had already read the Reverse Ultimatum. I asked for nothing and continued with my busy schedule. When I was with him I was entirely focused on him. When I was not, I was busy with my own life.

He told me he loved me in three weeks. He proposed in six months. Our wedding date is set for June and we have bought a house together.

This man tells me every day how blessed he feels to have me in his life.

Bottom line here - when a man says he isn't ready for a commitment, LISTEN to HIM! I see women all the time who think that his kindness and affections trump his words. They don't.

Mimi, I think you are bang-on with your advice and am living proof that letting a man chase you is the greatest gift you can give to both him and yourself!

This totally made my day! I love what she wrote: "I see women all the time who think that his kindness and affections trump his words. They don't."

Listen To His Words!! (And then take it from there!)

Here's my Reverse Ultimatum step-by-step formula:

www.reverseultimatum.com

Love Finds You When You're Not Looking

The best relationships come into your life when you're not looking for them.

You're not looking for them because you're "engaged" in what you're doing.

This is a great way to fall in love.

For example, when you're friends first, you aren't self-conscious!

There is nothing quite like that dizzying moment when you recognize that your friendship has become much more than a friendship. It's unforgettable.

Another reason you may not be looking for love is because you think you're "done with" being in love. I hear that one a lot!

Mary Tyler Moore, the beloved actress, fell in love with the doctor, Robert Levine, who was treating her mother.

You can bet she didn't plan on that one!

Because he was there in his professional role, it was up to Mary to do something to show her interest.

Robert said to Mary, "If there’s an emergency, just get in touch with me."

Mary replied, "Does acute loneliness count?"

And Dr. Levine said, "Yes."

That was the beginning of their relationship, which soon led to marriage, and which lasted for 33 years, through the rest of Mary's life.

Even a celebrity has to know when to be vulnerable.

This was Mary's third marriage. Sometimes you don't find lasting love until you've learned from previous relationships.

It's a continual learning process. And to stay fresh, you must keep learning and growing!

Notes From a Camper Van Voyage

Excellent photo borrowed from Twitter.com

I've searched high and low to find a picture online that shows the beauty I saw today.

If you're new to this newsletter, I've been asked to continue talking about my Camper Van Voyage!

The setting today: an icy road in the mountains with a lot of icy bridges. And some breathtaking views I wish I could show you.

I've made plenty of driving errors - like making a U turn to go back and get a picture of that view, and then realizing shrewdly...

... that I was going the wrong way on a 1-way road. The other drivers picked up on this right away... : )

They were mostly truckers. They blinked lights at me and nicely advised me to turn my car back around!

Yes, there have been a few TENSE moments.

The photo above is not taken by me; I found it on Twitter from a driver who was on the same road.

Here's another one - a live cam from today:

These photos definitely don't do justice to the views nor the fact that we were all stopped for over 2 hours so that trucks could be checked for snow chains.

One official tried to tell me not to go on the road; he was distracted, it was too late, I didn't know what to do, and worried I was driving into the pit of hell, only very cold and very high.

It turned out to be just fine and once I realized I was not in danger I got my driving confidence back!!

It may be only my Texas license plate and occasionally bewildered expression that is keeping me from getting a stern talking-to from law enforcement.

A few days ago I was at the Mexican border facing five uniformed guards and a German Shepherd!

That turned out to be the easy part...

The next few days I'll save the camper van voyage updates because I'll be working at some undisclosed location!!

Still lots of snow and ice though!