A missed opportunity of friendship - that's the truth about losing my cousin. I truly wish I had not let work get in the way of visiting my cousin, who lived a few hundred miles away, but not far. She and I both have no sisters and would have been like sisters to each other. We had a lot of mutual affection. And I will always love her for coming to my brother's funeral. Patti was the kind of person you want to have margaritas with and laugh and gossip and gasp and smile nonstop. I've had so much on my plate in recent years and have been out of touch with many wonderful people. Now Patti is with her mom whom she lost when she was only 25. I love you, Patti, and miss you, and you were unfailingly warm toward me, every single time I ever had any contact with you, and that says a LOT.
It was in Patti's single-girl apartment that I got kissed for the first time. I used to wonder what made kissing so special. I was 16 and had never been kissed except once at age 10 playing spin the bottle - and yeah, that was pretty great too actually, I think that boy and I were both surprised. But at 16, I was visiting Patti and her friends in her apartment; she'd just lost her mom; she was engaged to be married... in spite of the sadness, her friends' presence made for a party atmosphere, something Patti inspired with her personality.
Some 30-year-old guy was talking to me for quite a while. I went into the kitchen to get a Coke or something... next thing I knew he was there and was kissing me. Of course it was the last thing I expected to happen. "I had no idea" until that moment how amazing kissing was. He mentioned something about us seeing each other, he didn't push that idea; I lived in another state, and I was 16. But that was MEMORABLE. Of course like most 16-year-olds, I told NO ONE. (See the P.S.)
Years later I told Patti about that kiss. I'd heard that he had a barefoot wedding in a Dallas mall some time later...
Patti was a totally devoted mother to her one child. She radiated enthusiasm. For anyone reading this, if there is someone in your life you have not visited for whatever reason (I have lots of reasons myself!) please stop and think. You never know when your chance to see them will suddenly be gone.
P.S. Thirty-year-old guys have no business kissing 16-year-olds; I knew that much even then. Good grief. It's a shame that teenage girls can hardly get through their teen years without being hit upon or much worse - by adult men. Parent presence and supervision is an absolute must - and staying in touch with the friends and boyfriends - plus knowing WHO they even are...!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Metro-Sexual? Try Metro-Ineffectual!
I've heard a lot lately about how MEN JUST DON'T WANT TO DATE!
I call them Metro-Ineffectuals. And I would like to hear more about them from you. As one woman shared with me on Twitter, these men "don't want to know you during the week" and on the weekend, well, you could say that at 10:30 pm they get this wild thought that you would just love to join them at their place, or yours,
Can you say LOL, somebody!!!
Honestly, these Metro-Ineffectuals are all over the place, they are the men who tell you they don't want to chase you.
You MUST hold your ground with these guys - they ARE men after all, I THINK anyway, so there IS a hunter gatherer in that head and heart of theirs, yes, there is.
These guys try to CONVINCE you that they will NOT chase you - honey, please do not fall for that.
Smile sweetly. Flirt. Next! They'll come around. I promise. And with a lot more respect for you when you don't let them call the shots (in your oh-so-charming way).
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of "Secrets of Flirting With Men"
I call them Metro-Ineffectuals. And I would like to hear more about them from you. As one woman shared with me on Twitter, these men "don't want to know you during the week" and on the weekend, well, you could say that at 10:30 pm they get this wild thought that you would just love to join them at their place, or yours,
Can you say LOL, somebody!!!
Honestly, these Metro-Ineffectuals are all over the place, they are the men who tell you they don't want to chase you.
You MUST hold your ground with these guys - they ARE men after all, I THINK anyway, so there IS a hunter gatherer in that head and heart of theirs, yes, there is.
These guys try to CONVINCE you that they will NOT chase you - honey, please do not fall for that.
Smile sweetly. Flirt. Next! They'll come around. I promise. And with a lot more respect for you when you don't let them call the shots (in your oh-so-charming way).
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of "Secrets of Flirting With Men"
Friday, August 21, 2009
Part 2: Keep Your Flirt On: How To Flirt With Men
Flirting and Risking Your Heart
When you flirt with someone, you are putting yourself and your ego on the line! It certainly involves some risk. What does "risk" mean? Risk means that things might or might not go the way you want!
However, it is more than possible to flirt without putting your ego on the line.
Let's face it, the last thing any of us wants is for a man to flatten our ego with a cold, disinterested stare.
Don't worry, flirting does not mean that you go up to a stranger, sit in his lap, throw your arms around his neck and say, "Wow, you're hot, where do I get in line for some of YOUR attention?"
It is possible to arrange situations much more subtly than that. In fact, you can be such a stealth flirt that no one will ever see it coming until you've already engaged them in an innocent conversation.
First, are you relaxed? I mean really. When was the last time you took some slow, deep breaths?
Worried women do not flirt well.
But let's face it - we live in a tense age. And this isn't always bad when it comes to love. Slightly neurotic women have been known to rock men's worlds to the core. So if you're a little bit stressed out, just be so in a charming way. It can be done!
Flirting is about charm, about allure, and about making an intense connection with the person you want. Flirting can catch us off-guard - it often starts when we least expect it.
That's one thing which makes it such incredible fun.
Flirting can take you from NICE to CHARMING. A true flirt uses almost every encounter with a man to make him feel more like a man - making him feel charmed and wanted and special.
Men love it when a woman cares enough to flirt with them. Flirting sends a man the kind of message that is vital to his sense of masculinity and his self-esteem. There are a lot of people out there who are simply starved for this kind of attention.
Why not flirt a little more today than you did yesterday?
Start with a warm smile for everyone. That's the first step in practicing flirting. And smiling is not against the law, the last time I checked.
But what if you don't habitually flash everyone a big smile as you go about your day? In that case, don't make sudden radical changes in your behavior. That can cause your associates and co-workers to wonder what's up with you, and can cause your children to say things such as, "That was random, Mom..."
The best way to incorporate a new behavior in your life is in small doses. Otherwise, you may abandon a good effort prematurely. Stay with it. Just flirt a LITTLE more today - than you did yesterday - starting with smiling MORE. At everyone.
If you're married, small changes are a great way to start being more flirtatious with your husband. Start with a longer kiss hello or goodbye. Start showing more happiness with the world and with him. Little changes go a long way.
Flirting says, "I find you attractive - I notice that you are a man – and I am a woman!"
It's a message that will never, ever go out of style.
Have a great day - and remember to keep your flirt on!
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of "Secrets of Flirting With Men"
www.secrets-of-flirting.com
When you flirt with someone, you are putting yourself and your ego on the line! It certainly involves some risk. What does "risk" mean? Risk means that things might or might not go the way you want!
However, it is more than possible to flirt without putting your ego on the line.
Let's face it, the last thing any of us wants is for a man to flatten our ego with a cold, disinterested stare.
Don't worry, flirting does not mean that you go up to a stranger, sit in his lap, throw your arms around his neck and say, "Wow, you're hot, where do I get in line for some of YOUR attention?"
It is possible to arrange situations much more subtly than that. In fact, you can be such a stealth flirt that no one will ever see it coming until you've already engaged them in an innocent conversation.
First, are you relaxed? I mean really. When was the last time you took some slow, deep breaths?
Worried women do not flirt well.
But let's face it - we live in a tense age. And this isn't always bad when it comes to love. Slightly neurotic women have been known to rock men's worlds to the core. So if you're a little bit stressed out, just be so in a charming way. It can be done!
Flirting is about charm, about allure, and about making an intense connection with the person you want. Flirting can catch us off-guard - it often starts when we least expect it.
That's one thing which makes it such incredible fun.
Flirting can take you from NICE to CHARMING. A true flirt uses almost every encounter with a man to make him feel more like a man - making him feel charmed and wanted and special.
Men love it when a woman cares enough to flirt with them. Flirting sends a man the kind of message that is vital to his sense of masculinity and his self-esteem. There are a lot of people out there who are simply starved for this kind of attention.
Why not flirt a little more today than you did yesterday?
Start with a warm smile for everyone. That's the first step in practicing flirting. And smiling is not against the law, the last time I checked.
But what if you don't habitually flash everyone a big smile as you go about your day? In that case, don't make sudden radical changes in your behavior. That can cause your associates and co-workers to wonder what's up with you, and can cause your children to say things such as, "That was random, Mom..."
The best way to incorporate a new behavior in your life is in small doses. Otherwise, you may abandon a good effort prematurely. Stay with it. Just flirt a LITTLE more today - than you did yesterday - starting with smiling MORE. At everyone.
If you're married, small changes are a great way to start being more flirtatious with your husband. Start with a longer kiss hello or goodbye. Start showing more happiness with the world and with him. Little changes go a long way.
Flirting says, "I find you attractive - I notice that you are a man – and I am a woman!"
It's a message that will never, ever go out of style.
Have a great day - and remember to keep your flirt on!
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of "Secrets of Flirting With Men"
www.secrets-of-flirting.com
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Part 1: Keep Your Flirt On - How To Flirt With Men
It is my firm belief that any woman can flirt; in fact, most of us have an innate sense of how to flirt, even the shyest among us!
"Don't try to deny it!"
(You just heard a good flirting remark right there. Using that phrase will instantly spark a flirtatious atmosphere.)
Some women are already very good flirts and are seeking to improve their skills. Others are very shy and find it difficult to flirt. Still others may or may not be in the market to flirt right now, but they know this important truth - "use it or lose it" when it comes to getting your flirt on.
Flirting is something the best wives do with their husbands; the most sensuous women do with their boyfriends or would-be boyfriends. Flirting infuses every relationship with fun and affection.
Almost every relationship between a man and woman can be enhanced with some form of innocent - or not so innocent - flirting.
Flirting can happen in three ways - when you initiate the flirting; when someone else initiates the flirting with you; or those happy occasions when the flirting 'spontaneously combusts' and you both start flirting at the same time! As long as both are willing participants, it's absolute magic.
The enormous impact of flirting is generally unrecognized - it is considered to be an amusing pastime which can lead to some very pleasant feelings, and which can spark relationships. All that is true, but flirting is FAR more than that!
For example - how do you think you got into this world in the first place? There is a strong possibility that flirting was involved.
I rest my case: flirting is massively important. Flirting changes lives and the course of history.
Flirting often starts at a tender age - usually in elementary school. If you think back to your school days, you're sure to remember a case of flirting - and it probably included a lot of blushing, too.
You can read about my first blush with flirting at Secrets of Flirting, but here is a little more of the back story. I was on the receiving end of flirting for what may have been the first time. I was in a piano class at SMU for promising nerdy little musicians (that was me) and so was this guy named Joe. For several years, about 7 of us took a group and private class each week. This event happened when we were in the 6th grade, I think.
I felt so unappealing that year because my mom once again urged me to get a short haircut and I came out looking exactly like Buster Brown. So this classmate Joe started calling me "Buster" all the time! Even after my hair grew out (that was absolutely the last time in my life I ever had my hair short), Joe still called me "Buster." It vexed me, but like most 11-year-olds, I did not know that this kind of teasing was a sign of affection! So actually, when he said to me, "You're blushing," what he actually said was, "You're blushing, Buster." And the way he said this was truly sexy and devastating, even if he was 11 years old!
It took a while for the whole thing to sink in my brain that he liked me. I didn't know what to do, and was mortified about the red face, so that was the end of that conversation! LOL.
You can read about my little "moment of truth" with Joe on Secrets of Flirting!
The fact is that we all have an innate flirt. You can bring out that flirt gently - I know some women are afraid of their inner flirt! They do worry that once unleashed, they might change forever.
It's not that drastic - you are in control. Flirting is kind. Flirting is considerate. Flirting is paying attention. Flirting is making the other person feel special - sincerely.
Have a great day - and remember to keep your flirt on!
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of "Secrets of Flirting With Men"
http://www.secrets-of-flirting.com
"Don't try to deny it!"
(You just heard a good flirting remark right there. Using that phrase will instantly spark a flirtatious atmosphere.)
Some women are already very good flirts and are seeking to improve their skills. Others are very shy and find it difficult to flirt. Still others may or may not be in the market to flirt right now, but they know this important truth - "use it or lose it" when it comes to getting your flirt on.
Flirting is something the best wives do with their husbands; the most sensuous women do with their boyfriends or would-be boyfriends. Flirting infuses every relationship with fun and affection.
Almost every relationship between a man and woman can be enhanced with some form of innocent - or not so innocent - flirting.
Flirting can happen in three ways - when you initiate the flirting; when someone else initiates the flirting with you; or those happy occasions when the flirting 'spontaneously combusts' and you both start flirting at the same time! As long as both are willing participants, it's absolute magic.
The enormous impact of flirting is generally unrecognized - it is considered to be an amusing pastime which can lead to some very pleasant feelings, and which can spark relationships. All that is true, but flirting is FAR more than that!
For example - how do you think you got into this world in the first place? There is a strong possibility that flirting was involved.
I rest my case: flirting is massively important. Flirting changes lives and the course of history.
Flirting often starts at a tender age - usually in elementary school. If you think back to your school days, you're sure to remember a case of flirting - and it probably included a lot of blushing, too.
You can read about my first blush with flirting at Secrets of Flirting, but here is a little more of the back story. I was on the receiving end of flirting for what may have been the first time. I was in a piano class at SMU for promising nerdy little musicians (that was me) and so was this guy named Joe. For several years, about 7 of us took a group and private class each week. This event happened when we were in the 6th grade, I think.
I felt so unappealing that year because my mom once again urged me to get a short haircut and I came out looking exactly like Buster Brown. So this classmate Joe started calling me "Buster" all the time! Even after my hair grew out (that was absolutely the last time in my life I ever had my hair short), Joe still called me "Buster." It vexed me, but like most 11-year-olds, I did not know that this kind of teasing was a sign of affection! So actually, when he said to me, "You're blushing," what he actually said was, "You're blushing, Buster." And the way he said this was truly sexy and devastating, even if he was 11 years old!
It took a while for the whole thing to sink in my brain that he liked me. I didn't know what to do, and was mortified about the red face, so that was the end of that conversation! LOL.
You can read about my little "moment of truth" with Joe on Secrets of Flirting!
The fact is that we all have an innate flirt. You can bring out that flirt gently - I know some women are afraid of their inner flirt! They do worry that once unleashed, they might change forever.
It's not that drastic - you are in control. Flirting is kind. Flirting is considerate. Flirting is paying attention. Flirting is making the other person feel special - sincerely.
Have a great day - and remember to keep your flirt on!
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of "Secrets of Flirting With Men"
http://www.secrets-of-flirting.com
Monday, July 27, 2009
To Twit or Not to Twit - A vowel nightmare
Oh my gosh, I started twittering after all. It's hard not to these days. One big surprise - I have received so many warm notes from people!!
I just wonder how I will be able to keep up with it though... that is going to be tough. I have not told people that I'm on Twitter yet - waiting until I can set a day aside. I don't see how it will be possible to write hundreds of little notes to people daily... I can Twit, I mean Tweet, but personal notes, that will be challenging... but maybe fun also.
I think it's a bit more fun than Facebook and less intrusive and sneaky... I don't think Twitter hijacks people's address books... THANK YOU.
People who yak for a living just have to get on Twitter, to see if they can write in brief. I said brief, not briefs.
Twitter is like one ongoing Haiku to see if you can get your yaks into 140 characters...
I just wonder how I will be able to keep up with it though... that is going to be tough. I have not told people that I'm on Twitter yet - waiting until I can set a day aside. I don't see how it will be possible to write hundreds of little notes to people daily... I can Twit, I mean Tweet, but personal notes, that will be challenging... but maybe fun also.
I think it's a bit more fun than Facebook and less intrusive and sneaky... I don't think Twitter hijacks people's address books... THANK YOU.
People who yak for a living just have to get on Twitter, to see if they can write in brief. I said brief, not briefs.
Twitter is like one ongoing Haiku to see if you can get your yaks into 140 characters...
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