Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Is It Time To Shake Things Up?

I wrote this "daily email" titled "Is It Time To Shake Things Up?" - and sent it out to my "list." But the real story is what I didn't say.

My 1997 Jayco Camper Van, a Class B RV, 170K miles and going strong
What I didn't say is that the advice I'm giving here is exactly what I have just done in my own life. I did shake things up by just "taking off"! I took off and traveled around the country for exactly 31 days.

I've been planning this trip for quite a while. A few months ago, I bought a 1997 vintage camper van - a "Jayco" - which they don't make any more. It's a wonderful vehicle, let me tell you!

I had lots of work done on the van and it was more or less ready to go. But as things got closer to being real, I found that I was starting to hesitate. I was starting to think that I wasn't that keen on traveling after all...

Nothing could be further from the truth for me. Yes, I love my home, but I truly, deeply love just driving - going places!

And what was I waiting for? Things could change and it might not be as easy to just "take off" - if I waited!

Snoqualmie Falls, Washington
So I stopped waiting. The timing was great - January - so I could take along my two dogs and it would be plenty cool enough for them to be in the van when I was inside a shop or a restaurant.

So off I went. I had some great adventures. I met some amazing people. And I drove over five thousand miles.

I can't wait for my next trip. I wouldn't change this one for anything. It's the best thing I've done for myself in years.

So when I wrote this email "Is It Time To Shake Things Up" - this is exactly what I meant!

Here's the email:

Tip of the Day: All growth involves saying good-bye to some things and saying hello to new possibilities. - Nathaniel Branden

Hey Beautiful,

Shake things up.

That's what you've got to do sometimes.

Whatever you're thinking about, I urge you, don't put it off. Find a way to do it.

Don't just keep thinking about it and planning it - do it.

This will clear your head about what's next in your life.

This will show you what you really want and what you don't want.

You may experience some holding back - some fear.

That's normal. When you break past that, you'll be so happy.

You'll feel the ease of being able to reach your goal.

Find a way to shake things up - if you've been in a rut for a while.

You'll be so glad you did!

Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!

With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of The Reverse Ultimatum: How To Make Him Realize You're the One He Wants To Marry

Notes from readers: 

Mimi, I have been using your program and my guy went from being complacent to "can't get enough of me" and now talking about "our" future together. I have been using these principles for about 6 months.

I guess what I figured out is - you don't stop. I am living my charmed life and will continue until my man puts a ring on my finger. I see him two weekends a month ( because I am attending college, so I stay home to study), I still go out with friends, and need my "me" time.

At first it irritated him that I was less focused on him and more on me, the status quo was gone. He knows I have plans for the future so if he wants to be a part of them he needs to get on board 'cause this train is leaving!!!

* * * *

I began seeing a man last spring who had left his 8-year relationship and had dated one woman between that and asking me out. He was very upfront with the woman that she was a 'rebound' relationship and that he had no interest in any long term commitments.

That's what he said - but she didn't seem to hear it. After 3 months she told him she loved him and started taking him to look at houses in hopes of living together.

He bolted. He told me this so that I knew where he stood and not to have expectations.

When I started seeing him I had already read the Reverse Ultimatum. I asked for nothing and continued with my busy schedule. When I was with him I was entirely focused on him. When I was not, I was busy with my own life.

He told me he loved me in three weeks. He proposed in six months. Our wedding date is set for June and we have bought a house together.

This man tells me every day how blessed he feels to have me in his life.

Bottom line here - when a man says he isn't ready for a commitment, LISTEN to HIM! I see women all the time who think that his kindness and affections trump his words. They don't.

Mimi, I think you are bang-on with your advice and am living proof that letting a man chase you is the greatest gift you can give to both him and yourself!

This totally made my day! I love what she wrote: "I see women all the time who think that his kindness and affections trump his words. They don't."

Listen To His Words!! (And then take it from there!)

Here's my Reverse Ultimatum step-by-step formula:


Love Finds You When You're Not Looking

The best relationships come into your life when you're not looking for them.

You're not looking for them because you're "engaged" in what you're doing.

This is a great way to fall in love.

For example, when you're friends first, you aren't self-conscious!

There is nothing quite like that dizzying moment when you recognize that your friendship has become much more than a friendship. It's unforgettable.

Another reason you may not be looking for love is because you think you're "done with" being in love. I hear that one a lot!

Mary Tyler Moore, the beloved actress, fell in love with the doctor, Robert Levine, who was treating her mother.

You can bet she didn't plan on that one!

Because he was there in his professional role, it was up to Mary to do something to show her interest.

Robert said to Mary, "If there’s an emergency, just get in touch with me."

Mary replied, "Does acute loneliness count?"

And Dr. Levine said, "Yes."

That was the beginning of their relationship, which soon led to marriage, and which lasted for 33 years, through the rest of Mary's life.

Even a celebrity has to know when to be vulnerable.

This was Mary's third marriage. Sometimes you don't find lasting love until you've learned from previous relationships.

It's a continual learning process. And to stay fresh, you must keep learning and growing!

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Do You Already Know Your Future Husband?

Maybe you already know your future husband.

Maybe he's completely different than who you think you'll fall in love with.

Sometimes the love of your life is not who you expect:

Hello Mimi,

Thank you for reminding us that there are more men out there than we think.

When I first met my husband, he was chubby, smoked, drank, cursed, and was three years younger than me.

All of these factors turned me off him as a potential mate.

He was however, charming, disarmingly funny, very sensitive, intelligent, and respectful towards me. So, I went out with him.

Before I knew what hit me I was in love with him and he with me. We've been together for 20 years now.

The message here is don't write them off before you even get to know them!

P.S. He still drinks, doesn't curse or smoke anymore, and he is still chubby. He's also the best husband, father and provider I could ever hope for!

Keep up the great work Mimi!

"Shelly" (not her real name)

Thank you, Shelly, I love your story! You said it all.

And the news is even better.

It is more than possible to multiply the number of possible future loves by ten.

I mean, when you open up your eyes, you have ten times more men to choose from.

There are SO many ways to do this - not just one way.

One way is to consider men whom you never thought about before.

Maybe you have the idea that you can only fall in love with a certain "type."

Or maybe you tell yourself that you'll only date men who agree with certain important views you have.

Sure, some views are non-negotiable... but what if there are only a few thousand ELIGIBLE men your age in the entire country who match up?

It's a numbers game. If your possible numbers are too small, and you want to get married - then it's time to get practical - and ramp up those numbers!

In fact...

There are men in your world right this minute you haven't yet considered - one of them could become the love of your life.

He doesn't have to be close to your age.

He doesn't have to be your "type" - yet!

His education background or his job... may be different than you have in mind...

Yes - there really are ten times more men who are eligible - for YOU...

...If you just open up your eyes.

Make it fun.

Try giving this man a hint more of your flirty attention.

Just a smile... that is warmer than usual.

Just a gaze... that lasts a little longer.

Just a blush... that lets him know you've NOTICED him.

It's called flirting!

No matter how the technology changes.... the ability to flirt is forever!

Find out the easy way to flirt with men:


Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!

With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of Secrets of Flirting With Men

Sunday, October 9, 2016

The Exact Words To Say To Him When You're Upset

"If he really cares about me..."

Have you ever thought:

If he really cares about me, then he'll make me a priority.

If he really cares about me, then he'll care about how this affects me.

What is the solution to this frustration?

Do you see the frustration on his end? When you do, you can create the solution.

The secret is: how to make what YOU WANT go together with what HE NEEDS - according to my good friend Bob.

"What he craves is serenity," says relationship expert Bob Grant, LPC.

"He wants an emotional connection with you… without having to go through an emotional workout," states Bob.

"If he knows that listening to you calms you down, makes you feel more affectionate, then he sees that listening to you is helpful."

Here's the problem - you may expect him to just "get" you - according to Bob, who has been helping his clients for over 20 years.

So I have a huge treat for you right now.

I'm going to tell you the exact words Bob recommends to say to him when you're upset.

According to Bob Grant, say this: “I’m a bit overwhelmed right now.”

Bob says, "Say this slowly and softly, even if you don’t feel like it.

"Then just wait.

"Wait for him to respond. Wait for your words to sink in. Wait for the guard around his heart to slowly lower and you’ll see that he actually wants to help you."

That's just one example of the magic of Bob Grant!

Bob's signature book is "The Woman Men Adore"


For ten years now, women have been writing to me to tell me how much this book helps them:

"This book is a godsend!"

"I cried when I read it - this is the missing piece!"

I rarely recommend books, as you know... don't get me started on why... But this is a rare exception:

Find out how to become The Woman Men Adore.


With love,
Mimi Tanner

Monday, September 12, 2016

He Didn't Date For 20 Years. Here's What Changed:

The New York Times has an article about how men fall in love.

Just one problem - the article doesn't reveal anything whatsoever about how men fall in love!

All it really says is that the 2 men profiled were overjoyed when they were in love.

(No, really??) :)

But the comments.... oh, the comments are great. They usually are in the NY Times!

One jumped out at me and I want to share it.

This man didn't date for 20 years. Then he fell in love - when he didn't ever expect to fall in love again.

He writes: "I was actually 65 when I hooked into my first romantic relationship in 20 years.

"It has been an eye opener, basically because I was sure that it was a thing of the past.

"I find myself now feeling more in love than I have ever been. Who would have thunk. We will marry in June.

(Now here's the important part:)

"What I found out, at least for me, was that I had not been open to accepting the faults in others, and had been magnifying them so as to dramatically reduce the number of prospects out there.

"When I learned to be attracted to vulnerability in others, and to seek someone who could accept my own faults, I found myself surrounded by potential connections and quite open to love."

What a great story he shared!

What made the difference?

He realized that he was focusing too much on the faults of others.

He was critical. He eliminated great women because he'd find fault with them.

What changed?

He realized one very, very important truth.

Not one single person is perfect.

I don't care if they're a movie star. I don't care if they're rich. Everyone has a fault that will drive you crazy.

Everyone has a BIG fault. And not just one, either.

And they will find out the exact same thing about you!

What changed for him? He recognized that any woman he chooses is going to have her "fatal flaw."

And when he softened... what happened?

He now had a thousand-fold more women to fall in love with!

His odds went up to the moon - where before, he had 20 YEARS of zero.

I'm here to tell you that 20 years of no relationship is not as uncommon as you might think.

In fact, people get divorced, and think that in a few years, they will meet the LOVE of their LIFE.

Then ten years later, they are still going through men - dumping them, and getting dumped. Or giving up.

What did he say again?

"What I found out, at least for me, was that I had not been open to accepting the faults in others, and had been magnifying them so as to dramatically reduce the number of prospects out there.

"When I learned to be attracted to vulnerability in others, and to seek someone who could accept my own faults, I found myself surrounded by potential connections and quite open to love."


What men see when they look at certain women is a hardness.

They see a cynicism.

That's one reason they marry women from across the globe. It's very true.

So the first way to soften is to accept that every man you know has faults.

That doesn't mean you have to marry him.

But looking for Mr. No-Faults is a losing battle.

The change starts from the inside... in your heart.

Soften your heart and be open to accept that he is imperfect - just like you.

Being soft-hearted is actually the core of being Hard To Get.

But women who don't know the principles end up making a huge mistake and come off as not "hard to get" but instead - "hard hearted"!

That's because they really don't understand the deep principles of being Hard To Get.

Hard To Get IS a misunderstood concept to many people.

The truth is... Hard To Get is more of an art - based on solid principles of human nature.

And based on being deeply kind to yourself and him...

Giving him what he really wants, not what he thinks he wants!

In "Hard To Get" we get deep into every single aspect of how to make him want you so much...

... that he simple MUST have you alone, and no other woman comes close!

Go here to find out more about this program:


I look forward to seeing you there!