Maybe you already know your future husband.
Maybe he's completely different than who you think you'll fall in love with.
Sometimes the love of your life is not who you expect:
Hello Mimi,
Thank you for reminding us that there are more men out there than we think.
When I first met my husband, he was chubby, smoked, drank, cursed, and was three years younger than me.
All of these factors turned me off him as a potential mate.
He was however, charming, disarmingly funny, very sensitive, intelligent, and respectful towards me. So, I went out with him.
Before I knew what hit me I was in love with him and he with me. We've been together for 20 years now.
The message here is don't write them off before you even get to know them!
P.S. He still drinks, doesn't curse or smoke anymore, and he is still chubby. He's also the best husband, father and provider I could ever hope for!
Keep up the great work Mimi!
Regards,
"Shelly" (not her real name)
Thank you, Shelly, I love your story! You said it all.
And the news is even better.
It is more than possible to multiply the number of possible future loves by ten.
I mean, when you open up your eyes, you have ten times more men to choose from.
There are SO many ways to do this - not just one way.
One way is to consider men whom you never thought about before.
Maybe you have the idea that you can only fall in love with a certain "type."
Or maybe you tell yourself that you'll only date men who agree with certain important views you have.
Sure, some views are non-negotiable... but what if there are only a few thousand ELIGIBLE men your age in the entire country who match up?
It's a numbers game. If your possible numbers are too small, and you want to get married - then it's time to get practical - and ramp up those numbers!
In fact...
There are men in your world right this minute you haven't yet considered - one of them could become the love of your life.
He doesn't have to be close to your age.
He doesn't have to be your "type" - yet!
His education background or his job... may be different than you have in mind...
Yes - there really are ten times more men who are eligible - for YOU...
...If you just open up your eyes.
Make it fun.
Try giving this man a hint more of your flirty attention.
Just a smile... that is warmer than usual.
Just a gaze... that lasts a little longer.
Just a blush... that lets him know you've NOTICED him.
It's called flirting!
No matter how the technology changes.... the ability to flirt is forever!
Find out the easy way to flirt with men:
www.secrets-of-flirting.com
Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of Secrets of Flirting With Men
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Sunday, October 9, 2016
The Exact Words To Say To Him When You're Upset
"If he really cares about me..."
Have you ever thought:
If he really cares about me, then he'll make me a priority.
If he really cares about me, then he'll care about how this affects me.
What is the solution to this frustration?
Do you see the frustration on his end? When you do, you can create the solution.
The secret is: how to make what YOU WANT go together with what HE NEEDS - according to my good friend Bob.
"What he craves is serenity," says relationship expert Bob Grant, LPC.
"He wants an emotional connection with you… without having to go through an emotional workout," states Bob.
"If he knows that listening to you calms you down, makes you feel more affectionate, then he sees that listening to you is helpful."
Here's the problem - you may expect him to just "get" you - according to Bob, who has been helping his clients for over 20 years.
So I have a huge treat for you right now.
I'm going to tell you the exact words Bob recommends to say to him when you're upset.
According to Bob Grant, say this: “I’m a bit overwhelmed right now.”
Bob says, "Say this slowly and softly, even if you don’t feel like it.
"Then just wait.
"Wait for him to respond. Wait for your words to sink in. Wait for the guard around his heart to slowly lower and you’ll see that he actually wants to help you."
That's just one example of the magic of Bob Grant!
Bob's signature book is "The Woman Men Adore"
www.thewomanmenadore.com
For ten years now, women have been writing to me to tell me how much this book helps them:
"This book is a godsend!"
"I cried when I read it - this is the missing piece!"
I rarely recommend books, as you know... don't get me started on why... But this is a rare exception:
Find out how to become The Woman Men Adore.
www.thewomanmenadore.com
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Have you ever thought:
If he really cares about me, then he'll make me a priority.
If he really cares about me, then he'll care about how this affects me.
What is the solution to this frustration?
Do you see the frustration on his end? When you do, you can create the solution.
The secret is: how to make what YOU WANT go together with what HE NEEDS - according to my good friend Bob.
"What he craves is serenity," says relationship expert Bob Grant, LPC.
"He wants an emotional connection with you… without having to go through an emotional workout," states Bob.
"If he knows that listening to you calms you down, makes you feel more affectionate, then he sees that listening to you is helpful."
Here's the problem - you may expect him to just "get" you - according to Bob, who has been helping his clients for over 20 years.
So I have a huge treat for you right now.
I'm going to tell you the exact words Bob recommends to say to him when you're upset.
According to Bob Grant, say this: “I’m a bit overwhelmed right now.”
Bob says, "Say this slowly and softly, even if you don’t feel like it.
"Then just wait.
"Wait for him to respond. Wait for your words to sink in. Wait for the guard around his heart to slowly lower and you’ll see that he actually wants to help you."
That's just one example of the magic of Bob Grant!
Bob's signature book is "The Woman Men Adore"
www.thewomanmenadore.com
For ten years now, women have been writing to me to tell me how much this book helps them:
"This book is a godsend!"
"I cried when I read it - this is the missing piece!"
I rarely recommend books, as you know... don't get me started on why... But this is a rare exception:
Find out how to become The Woman Men Adore.
www.thewomanmenadore.com
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Monday, September 12, 2016
He Didn't Date For 20 Years. Here's What Changed:
The New York Times has an article about how men fall in love.
Just one problem - the article doesn't reveal anything whatsoever about how men fall in love!
All it really says is that the 2 men profiled were overjoyed when they were in love.
(No, really??) :)
But the comments.... oh, the comments are great. They usually are in the NY Times!
One jumped out at me and I want to share it.
This man didn't date for 20 years. Then he fell in love - when he didn't ever expect to fall in love again.
He writes: "I was actually 65 when I hooked into my first romantic relationship in 20 years.
"It has been an eye opener, basically because I was sure that it was a thing of the past.
"I find myself now feeling more in love than I have ever been. Who would have thunk. We will marry in June.
(Now here's the important part:)
"What I found out, at least for me, was that I had not been open to accepting the faults in others, and had been magnifying them so as to dramatically reduce the number of prospects out there.
"When I learned to be attracted to vulnerability in others, and to seek someone who could accept my own faults, I found myself surrounded by potential connections and quite open to love."
What a great story he shared!
What made the difference?
He realized that he was focusing too much on the faults of others.
He was critical. He eliminated great women because he'd find fault with them.
What changed?
He realized one very, very important truth.
Not one single person is perfect.
I don't care if they're a movie star. I don't care if they're rich. Everyone has a fault that will drive you crazy.
Everyone has a BIG fault. And not just one, either.
And they will find out the exact same thing about you!
What changed for him? He recognized that any woman he chooses is going to have her "fatal flaw."
And when he softened... what happened?
He now had a thousand-fold more women to fall in love with!
His odds went up to the moon - where before, he had 20 YEARS of zero.
I'm here to tell you that 20 years of no relationship is not as uncommon as you might think.
In fact, people get divorced, and think that in a few years, they will meet the LOVE of their LIFE.
Then ten years later, they are still going through men - dumping them, and getting dumped. Or giving up.
What did he say again?
"What I found out, at least for me, was that I had not been open to accepting the faults in others, and had been magnifying them so as to dramatically reduce the number of prospects out there.
"When I learned to be attracted to vulnerability in others, and to seek someone who could accept my own faults, I found myself surrounded by potential connections and quite open to love."
Beautiful!!
What men see when they look at certain women is a hardness.
They see a cynicism.
That's one reason they marry women from across the globe. It's very true.
So the first way to soften is to accept that every man you know has faults.
That doesn't mean you have to marry him.
But looking for Mr. No-Faults is a losing battle.
The change starts from the inside... in your heart.
Soften your heart and be open to accept that he is imperfect - just like you.
Being soft-hearted is actually the core of being Hard To Get.
But women who don't know the principles end up making a huge mistake and come off as not "hard to get" but instead - "hard hearted"!
That's because they really don't understand the deep principles of being Hard To Get.
Hard To Get IS a misunderstood concept to many people.
The truth is... Hard To Get is more of an art - based on solid principles of human nature.
And based on being deeply kind to yourself and him...
Giving him what he really wants, not what he thinks he wants!
In "Hard To Get" we get deep into every single aspect of how to make him want you so much...
... that he simple MUST have you alone, and no other woman comes close!
Go here to find out more about this program:
www.hardtoget.com
I look forward to seeing you there!
Just one problem - the article doesn't reveal anything whatsoever about how men fall in love!
All it really says is that the 2 men profiled were overjoyed when they were in love.
(No, really??) :)
But the comments.... oh, the comments are great. They usually are in the NY Times!
One jumped out at me and I want to share it.
This man didn't date for 20 years. Then he fell in love - when he didn't ever expect to fall in love again.
He writes: "I was actually 65 when I hooked into my first romantic relationship in 20 years.
"It has been an eye opener, basically because I was sure that it was a thing of the past.
"I find myself now feeling more in love than I have ever been. Who would have thunk. We will marry in June.
(Now here's the important part:)
"What I found out, at least for me, was that I had not been open to accepting the faults in others, and had been magnifying them so as to dramatically reduce the number of prospects out there.
"When I learned to be attracted to vulnerability in others, and to seek someone who could accept my own faults, I found myself surrounded by potential connections and quite open to love."
What a great story he shared!
What made the difference?
He realized that he was focusing too much on the faults of others.
He was critical. He eliminated great women because he'd find fault with them.
What changed?
He realized one very, very important truth.
Not one single person is perfect.
I don't care if they're a movie star. I don't care if they're rich. Everyone has a fault that will drive you crazy.
Everyone has a BIG fault. And not just one, either.
And they will find out the exact same thing about you!
What changed for him? He recognized that any woman he chooses is going to have her "fatal flaw."
And when he softened... what happened?
He now had a thousand-fold more women to fall in love with!
His odds went up to the moon - where before, he had 20 YEARS of zero.
I'm here to tell you that 20 years of no relationship is not as uncommon as you might think.
In fact, people get divorced, and think that in a few years, they will meet the LOVE of their LIFE.
Then ten years later, they are still going through men - dumping them, and getting dumped. Or giving up.
What did he say again?
"What I found out, at least for me, was that I had not been open to accepting the faults in others, and had been magnifying them so as to dramatically reduce the number of prospects out there.
"When I learned to be attracted to vulnerability in others, and to seek someone who could accept my own faults, I found myself surrounded by potential connections and quite open to love."
Beautiful!!
What men see when they look at certain women is a hardness.
They see a cynicism.
That's one reason they marry women from across the globe. It's very true.
So the first way to soften is to accept that every man you know has faults.
That doesn't mean you have to marry him.
But looking for Mr. No-Faults is a losing battle.
The change starts from the inside... in your heart.
Soften your heart and be open to accept that he is imperfect - just like you.
Being soft-hearted is actually the core of being Hard To Get.
But women who don't know the principles end up making a huge mistake and come off as not "hard to get" but instead - "hard hearted"!
That's because they really don't understand the deep principles of being Hard To Get.
Hard To Get IS a misunderstood concept to many people.
The truth is... Hard To Get is more of an art - based on solid principles of human nature.
And based on being deeply kind to yourself and him...
Giving him what he really wants, not what he thinks he wants!
In "Hard To Get" we get deep into every single aspect of how to make him want you so much...
... that he simple MUST have you alone, and no other woman comes close!
Go here to find out more about this program:
www.hardtoget.com
I look forward to seeing you there!
Monday, September 5, 2016
Your Power Over Him
Hey Beautiful,
You have far more power over him than you think.
That's what so few women truly understand!
This young man surprised me. He said to my daughter, "You don't know the power you have over me."
"What do you mean?" she asked him.
"You can ask me pretty much anything, and I'll do it for you," he answered.
And it's true, she told me. "If I say I feel cold, he jumps up to get me a blanket. He always wants to do nice things for me," she said.
When you hear that, you know a man is IN LOVE.
Most men wouldn't reveal this valuable information about the POWER a woman they love has!
This special young man wasn't afraid to tell my daughter the truth about her power over him!
And you know what?
Most women throw that power away!
Things are going THIS WELL with a man - but shortly after this lovely scene, everything goes to hell in a hand basket!
I'll tell you one reason:
You throw away your power by starting to complain.
I get to read first-hand what complaining sounds like. Just this morning I've been reading an all-caps rant.
I look back at the previous emails from this person and she writes: "I'm so frustrated... etc etc!!"
Trust me, it's not fun to read that. People always assume they're writing to large corporations with vast desks of faceless customer service helpers.
People behave in patterns. They do the same kinds of things over and over.
They're either very sweet - or very not!
They're either on the ball - or constantly confused!
As much as I hate to admit it, I've been guilty of some of this myself! But when you see it from someone else, the light switch flips on!
And you realize how "bloody awful" it is to project this attitude.
Instead of complaining, say something once sweetly. Then move on.
I totally get it about complaining. You're a perfectionist. You're observant.
You're not really complaining, you're trying to fix something that you really, really CARE about!
That you understand better than other people!
Oh, I get it. But that's no excuse for being a pain in the you know what.
There are women out there who still don't know why they have driven every single husband and boyfriend away.
To me, it's obvious. They drove him away with their constant negativity.
When you realize what a PITA you are being, you will want to absolutely melt into the ground.
That's just ONE problem. Just one.
You have power - the power to make yourself and him exceedingly happy.
Hold on to your power with men by getting control of your attitudes.
That's the #1 way to hang on to your power with men!
Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of Hard To Get: The Timeless Art of Conquering His Heart
You have far more power over him than you think.
That's what so few women truly understand!
This young man surprised me. He said to my daughter, "You don't know the power you have over me."
"What do you mean?" she asked him.
"You can ask me pretty much anything, and I'll do it for you," he answered.
And it's true, she told me. "If I say I feel cold, he jumps up to get me a blanket. He always wants to do nice things for me," she said.
When you hear that, you know a man is IN LOVE.
Most men wouldn't reveal this valuable information about the POWER a woman they love has!
This special young man wasn't afraid to tell my daughter the truth about her power over him!
And you know what?
Most women throw that power away!
Things are going THIS WELL with a man - but shortly after this lovely scene, everything goes to hell in a hand basket!
I'll tell you one reason:
You throw away your power by starting to complain.
I get to read first-hand what complaining sounds like. Just this morning I've been reading an all-caps rant.
I look back at the previous emails from this person and she writes: "I'm so frustrated... etc etc!!"
Trust me, it's not fun to read that. People always assume they're writing to large corporations with vast desks of faceless customer service helpers.
People behave in patterns. They do the same kinds of things over and over.
They're either very sweet - or very not!
They're either on the ball - or constantly confused!
As much as I hate to admit it, I've been guilty of some of this myself! But when you see it from someone else, the light switch flips on!
And you realize how "bloody awful" it is to project this attitude.
Instead of complaining, say something once sweetly. Then move on.
I totally get it about complaining. You're a perfectionist. You're observant.
You're not really complaining, you're trying to fix something that you really, really CARE about!
That you understand better than other people!
Oh, I get it. But that's no excuse for being a pain in the you know what.
There are women out there who still don't know why they have driven every single husband and boyfriend away.
To me, it's obvious. They drove him away with their constant negativity.
When you realize what a PITA you are being, you will want to absolutely melt into the ground.
That's just ONE problem. Just one.
You have power - the power to make yourself and him exceedingly happy.
Hold on to your power with men by getting control of your attitudes.
That's the #1 way to hang on to your power with men!
Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of Hard To Get: The Timeless Art of Conquering His Heart
Monday, August 22, 2016
From That Moment, It's 'Game On'
Tip of the Day: Men pay attention to the way you treat people.
Hey Beautiful,
Grab coffee for this true story:
"I'm having a lot of fun (and success!) with your Secrets of Flirting program. Truth is, I'd gotten out of touch with how to flirt, so I ordered your program, out of curiosity!
"Right now I'm in physical therapy. My physical therapist is a wonderful guy.
"He's not what you'd call handsome; more like 'cute'! He has a great sense of humor; he's always kidding everyone.
"He loves to rub his hands together and act like he enjoys torturing me. :) There's been some definite chemistry between us.
"Now that I have your program, just for fun, I'm 'practicing' on him!
"His favorite line, when I'm moaning from pain from the physical therapy, is, 'It doesn't bother ME one bit!'
"So I replied, 'Oh NOTHING ever bothers YOU one bit!'
"That lit him up like a Christmas tree. In that instant he realized, I want to 'play'!
"He warned me (playfully), of many more tortures ahead!
"From that moment, it's been 'game on'. We're teasing each other relentlessly.
"-Cecilia"
It's fun to flirt when you know how!
That's why I created the complete guide to Flirting - the original and the BEST flirting guide - easy lessons and tips so you know exactly what to say and do:
Secrets of Flirting With Men
Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of Secrets of Flirting With Men
Hey Beautiful,
Grab coffee for this true story:
"I'm having a lot of fun (and success!) with your Secrets of Flirting program. Truth is, I'd gotten out of touch with how to flirt, so I ordered your program, out of curiosity!
"Right now I'm in physical therapy. My physical therapist is a wonderful guy.
"He's not what you'd call handsome; more like 'cute'! He has a great sense of humor; he's always kidding everyone.
"He loves to rub his hands together and act like he enjoys torturing me. :) There's been some definite chemistry between us.
"Now that I have your program, just for fun, I'm 'practicing' on him!
"His favorite line, when I'm moaning from pain from the physical therapy, is, 'It doesn't bother ME one bit!'
"So I replied, 'Oh NOTHING ever bothers YOU one bit!'
"That lit him up like a Christmas tree. In that instant he realized, I want to 'play'!
"He warned me (playfully), of many more tortures ahead!
"From that moment, it's been 'game on'. We're teasing each other relentlessly.
"-Cecilia"
It's fun to flirt when you know how!
That's why I created the complete guide to Flirting - the original and the BEST flirting guide - easy lessons and tips so you know exactly what to say and do:
Secrets of Flirting With Men
Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of Secrets of Flirting With Men
Monday, February 8, 2016
Lady Gaga Nails the National Anthem at the 2016 Super Bowl
Absolutely beautiful - performed with grace, respect and sincerity. Lady Gaga puts the focus on the beautiful song, wearing a glittering red pants suit with blue nail polish. This reminds me of her tribute to "The Sound of Music" at the 2015 Oscar broadcast. Both times, she impressed me with what these performances show about her heart and her love for music. Thank you for being a great American, Lady Gaga! Your performance made millions of hearts glad.
Self-Check: Is This An Abusive Relationship?
Tip of the Day: People usually show their true colors early on. Pay close attention.
Hey Beautiful,
I'll always remember this: it was Fresno, California, and I was living at the YWCA Women's Residence Hall building - which at that time was a beautiful building where you could rent a room for $22 a week!
I had a darling blue room all to myself on the 2nd floor, and all I want to know is, why did I ever leave??
I made a couple of new friends there. One of them, Mary, talked to me one night about her abusive boyfriend. She told me that he literally was physically abusive.
"He beats me," she said, tears on her face. I'll never forget that moment.
That shocked me. But I was even more shocked when she somehow sneaked him in the window not long after that conversation - and got back together with him.
That was my first encounter close up with an abusive relationship. I was very naive then. But since then I've sadly seen a few more up close. It's especially tough to see this happen to young women who don't know what they're getting themselves into.
The trouble with an abusive or toxic relationship is: most people who are in them don't want to believe that there's something desperately wrong going on here.
Sometimes people walk into their first (and hopefully only) toxic relationship not knowing what they've gotten themselves into for a long time. They keep trying to make it work.
Want to know if you or someone else is in an abusive relationship? Let's talk about this.
Here are 9 "self-check" questions to identify an abusive or toxic relationship:
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #1: When you're WITH him, are you usually laughing... or crying?
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #2: Your times together turn into a familiar cycle of tension, conflict, misery, then desperately seeking reassurance, endless apologies, and making up. Soon the cycle starts again.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #3: Drugs or alcohol go hand in hand with your relationship troubles.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #4: You find yourself drawn into bickering and arguments that take up hours, while everything and everyone else is neglected.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #5: You don't want to call your relationship “abusive” even though others think it is. You feel that's laying all the blame on your partner. But you will admit that it's "toxic" - sometimes. Then later you'll change your mind on that.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #6: Despite the frequent tension and misery you experience from his harsh words, blame, and criticism - you feel fiercely loyal to your partner.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #7: You've become so accustomed to "walking on eggshells" to avoid upsetting your partner... that you no longer realize you're doing it.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #8: Friends and family frequently offer to help you leave the relationship. Eventually they start offering less often because they don't think you ever will leave.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #9: In spite of the constant fighting, you refer to your boyfriend as your “husband” or “fiance” as often as possible.
Now I don't yet have #10 of this "top ten" list - and I'm sure there are more than ten.
But I know someone out there can chime in with more observations or personal experiences of the hallmarks of an abusive or toxic relationship.
Feel free to send in what you'd like to share with readers - a brief comment for #10 "self-check" to help people start to recognize when a relationship is unhealthy.
Because the biggest problem of all seems to be the women who are emotionally trapped and who may take months or years to break free.
Life is supposed to be joyful. If your relationship isn't bringing you joy, then it's time to figure out truly why that is.
Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of Secrets of Flirting With Men
Hey Beautiful,
I'll always remember this: it was Fresno, California, and I was living at the YWCA Women's Residence Hall building - which at that time was a beautiful building where you could rent a room for $22 a week!
I had a darling blue room all to myself on the 2nd floor, and all I want to know is, why did I ever leave??
I made a couple of new friends there. One of them, Mary, talked to me one night about her abusive boyfriend. She told me that he literally was physically abusive.
"He beats me," she said, tears on her face. I'll never forget that moment.
That shocked me. But I was even more shocked when she somehow sneaked him in the window not long after that conversation - and got back together with him.
That was my first encounter close up with an abusive relationship. I was very naive then. But since then I've sadly seen a few more up close. It's especially tough to see this happen to young women who don't know what they're getting themselves into.
The trouble with an abusive or toxic relationship is: most people who are in them don't want to believe that there's something desperately wrong going on here.
Sometimes people walk into their first (and hopefully only) toxic relationship not knowing what they've gotten themselves into for a long time. They keep trying to make it work.
Want to know if you or someone else is in an abusive relationship? Let's talk about this.
Here are 9 "self-check" questions to identify an abusive or toxic relationship:
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #1: When you're WITH him, are you usually laughing... or crying?
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #2: Your times together turn into a familiar cycle of tension, conflict, misery, then desperately seeking reassurance, endless apologies, and making up. Soon the cycle starts again.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #3: Drugs or alcohol go hand in hand with your relationship troubles.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #4: You find yourself drawn into bickering and arguments that take up hours, while everything and everyone else is neglected.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #5: You don't want to call your relationship “abusive” even though others think it is. You feel that's laying all the blame on your partner. But you will admit that it's "toxic" - sometimes. Then later you'll change your mind on that.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #6: Despite the frequent tension and misery you experience from his harsh words, blame, and criticism - you feel fiercely loyal to your partner.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #7: You've become so accustomed to "walking on eggshells" to avoid upsetting your partner... that you no longer realize you're doing it.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #8: Friends and family frequently offer to help you leave the relationship. Eventually they start offering less often because they don't think you ever will leave.
Abusive Relationship Self-Check #9: In spite of the constant fighting, you refer to your boyfriend as your “husband” or “fiance” as often as possible.
Now I don't yet have #10 of this "top ten" list - and I'm sure there are more than ten.
But I know someone out there can chime in with more observations or personal experiences of the hallmarks of an abusive or toxic relationship.
Feel free to send in what you'd like to share with readers - a brief comment for #10 "self-check" to help people start to recognize when a relationship is unhealthy.
Because the biggest problem of all seems to be the women who are emotionally trapped and who may take months or years to break free.
Life is supposed to be joyful. If your relationship isn't bringing you joy, then it's time to figure out truly why that is.
Have a great day, and keep your Flirt on!
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of Secrets of Flirting With Men
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